Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When is this thing going to be done?
Greg: Well, with all due respect sir, it's not a baked potato. Did I ever tell you I used to live in New York?
Grissom: Is this going to be a short story or a novel?
[The mass spectrometer beeps and gives out the test results]
Greg: Excuse me. You know, heroin has a nine-minute half-life. After that, it metabolizes into morphine.
Grissom: What's the 6-MAM count?
Greg: A hundred fifty-eight nanograms per mil. Definitely not lethal. The same with your Xanax. Quarter-mil tabs, hundred micrograms per liter. Again, not lethal. There's addicts walking around Times Square with more drugs in their system.
Grissom: So Braun should still be walking around.
[Grissom turns to leave but stops]
Grissom: ...and the point of your New York story was...?
Greg: Oh, I was just going to tell you about another way to take heroin.. a suppository up the coolee. You just stand on your head, and then you let gravity...forget it!

Grissom: Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space?
Sara: Yeah.
Nick: Yeah, in a zip bag.
Grissom: Lemons.

Grissom: Man versus Gravity. Man lost.

Grissom: Okay, let's run this. Amanda was tired of being number two, so she calls up Mrs. Logan to discuss her affair with her husband. But Mrs. Logan doesn't just discuss it she throws down the gauntlet.
Catherine: Amanda broke the only rule. Don't call the missus.
Nick: Now he really has a problem.
Warrick: Two problems. His wife is going to leave him, take half his money and he was going to jail.
Sara: You got to admit, his solution was ingenious.
Grissom: Most killers take their time planning a murder. He took his time covering it up. Forty-eight hours to be precise. So Logan cleans up the crime scene and calls his lawyer. Asks him to help him with his little charade. I mean, what better way to protect your assets than to pay a kidnapper who's already on retainer?
Catherine: Everything from that point on was calculated.
Grissom: Blood on his hands...he's the last customer of the day at the bank. Acting suspiciously...
Catherine: ...driving recklessly.
Warrick: He knew he'd get hauled in to the cops.
Catherine: You bet your ass. He didn't leave those sunglasses behind by accident. His cell phone rang on cue. The call's for me. He practically forced that money into his lawyer's hands.
Grissom: Out of one pocket, into the other. I especially liked the little show he did for us in the coroner's lab. Trying to find out how much we knew.
Nick: Why make the map? Why lead Catherine to the body?
Grissom: Because without the body Logan would always be under suspicion.
Sara: If not by the police, by his wife.
Warrick: So, he left these wine glasses for you to find.
Catherine: Sure, we wanted us to suspect the wife. That's why he used her SUV to transport the body. And he let me mark the money because he knew that eventually his lawyer would touch it.
Sara: Why though? The money was in a suitcase.
Warrick: A million dollars. Pretty tempting.
Grissom: I saw the locker and I saw Logan's briefcase. It was too big to fit inside. His lawyer had to remove the cash by hand.
Sara: How could he possibly know that Catherine was going to mark the money?
Warrick: He didn't. He probably thought the bank marked it.
Nick: Besides, there's always fingerprints.
Catherine: So I did everything in my power to help him.

Grissom: People don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility.

Grissom: Suicide, huh? I don't know, Brian. On the day you decide to end your life, why would you go to work?

Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine: Do you get these haiku's out of a book, or do they just come to you?
Grissom: Every time you find a body, you have to choose a path. And when you take that path, grasshopper, you risk destroying the evidence.
Catherine: We grab a trough and some fine-mesh screens and pretend like we're panning for gold, Master.

Grissom: Two things that have nothing to do with each other.
Sara: Or everything.
(Sara walks out to find Grissom pacing furiously)

Grissom: We both have jobs that begin after the crime.
Father Powell: After the sin.
Grissom: Some people would call that a career in futility.
Father Powell: Some people call it a vocation.

Grissom: We need a treadmill, a big one.
Nick: All right, to do what?
Grissom: To exercise a bus.

Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed... closure.
Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine: Not always.

Grissom: What is Victoria's secret, I wonder?
Sara: Beauty, Grissom, remember?

Grissom: Wherever you live is your temple. If you treat it like one.
Sara: State your source.
Grissom: Buddha.

Grissom: Whoa. Careful. Livestock. [Holds up his jar of roaches] Hissing roaches from Madagascar.
Catherine: Sorry.
Grissom: These babies run two and a half miles an hour.
Catherine: I don't doubt that for a minute.
Grissom: Fifth annual entomological convention in Duluth. Cockroach racing finals.
[Grissom pushes the door to his office open and walks in. Catherine follows]
Catherine: You're roach racing.
Grissom: Actually, I'm giving a tutorial on preserving mass crime scenes. The sideshow is racing this guys.
Catherine: Ah.
Grissom: I mean, to have a chance to run against legendary roaches like Cocky Balboa, The Drain Lover, Priscilla, Queen of the Gutters. It's huge.
Catherine: What do you feed those guys?
Grissom: Dog food.
Catherine: And who's...supervising night shift?
Grissom: You are.
Catherine: Me? I am on the red-eye to Reno. The Braun Family is opening a new casino. I am Sam's date.
Grissom: That's tonight?
Catherine: I told you once, memo'd you twice. [she sighs. Grissom is distracted by the roaches in the container]
Grissom: Man, these guys are primed.
Catherine: [leaving]: Better get somebody.

Grissom: Would you mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.