Grissom: Here comes the press. You're on. I wish I could help but I got a vehicle to process.
Sheriff Atwater: C'mon, Grissom. Bomb goes off and everyone thinks it's a hit. What do you think?
Grissom: I'm not thinkin'. I'm lookin'.
Sheriff Atwater: That's good. Can I use that?

Grissom: Hey, is that from the deli?
Sara: Egg salad sandwich. You want half?
Grissom: No. Can I have your pickle?
Sara: You can have it.
Grissom: Oh, that's a nice one.

Grissom: Hey, the rich are just as deviant as the poor.

Grissom: How would you like to be part of an experiment?
Judy: I- I'm a secretary, besides, I heard what you did to Greg's feet.
Grissom: You'll keep your shoes on, I swear.

Grissom: How ya doing Jim? How's your old job?
Brass: I can sling scum all day. You?
Grissom: I curse more.
Brass: Oh yeah? Well wait.

Grissom: I can't tell whether he's brilliant or nuts.
Brass: Sound familiar?

Grissom: I guess clothes do make "The Man."
Catherine: In this case, "The Man" makes the clothes... and produces the music... and represents the athletes... when he's not involved in street shootings, of course.
Grissom: And when you asked him what he was wearing the night of the murder, he couldn't remember?
Catherine: As far as he's concerned murder is just another way to separate himself from the Calvins and Ralphs of the world.
Grissom: Calvin and Ralph?
Catherine: Klein and Lauren. Fashion.
Grissom: Oh. Well, for most CSIs, fashion is irrelevant.
Catherine: Speak for yourself. The only thing between me and a wardrobe like this is a few extra zeros on my paycheck.

Grissom: I have a question
Teri: Ok?
Grissom: Since I screwed up our last date, would we ever have dinner again?
Teri: Oh we'll have dinner... just not together.

Grissom: I hear that Greg found uranium on the swab from Felton's skull.
Nick: Yeah. He says I'm okay, but you know Greg. Tell me, am I radiating a green glow?

Grissom: I need you to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood
Holly: What for?
Grissom: It's customary for all new hires.
Holly: Why?
Grissom: So many reasons...
[some time later] [Grissom is undertaking a blood spatter reconstruction using real blood]
Warrick: Where'd you get the blood?
Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick: Hell no.

Grissom: I think our robbery suspect just became our homicide victim
Catherine: Well that's one way to avoid the rap.

Grissom: I thought that Nick was the best candidate for the position.
Sara: Why?
Grissom: Because he didn't care whether he got the job or not.
Sara: That's a stupid reason.

Grissom: I thought you'd want to know what happened to Wendy.
Mimosa: I appreciate your telling me. Killed by someone in our own community. As if we don't have enough enemies. Her parents never understood her, but still I think they should know. What do I say?
Grissom: Show them an oyster.
Mimosa: I'm sorry?
Grissom: There are two types of male oysters, and one of them can change genders at will. And before man crawled out of the muck, maybe he had the same option. Maybe originally we were supposed to be able to switch genders, and being born with just one sex... is a mutation.

Grissom: I want this whole plane taped off ... nose to tail and wing to wing.
Brass: Oh, it's going to take a lot of tape.
Grissom: I've got a dead body, a crime scene with wings. Something very wrong happened in this plane.

Grissom: I was supposed to pass out some supervisor evaluation forms. Where are they?
Catherine: (grabs the papers and beings to hand them out) Here they are.
Nick: (smiles) Mmm. Get to rate the boss. I dig this.
Catherine: Give him a perfect ten or your ass is out of here.
Grissom: No, it's not. (Sara laughs)