CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes
0 total quotesGreg: Hey, I hear you're working on Hank's case.
Sara: I believe it's my case.
Greg: Territorial. You know, guys don't like that.
Sara: You're crowding me, Greg.
Greg: Well, I have some information that'll bring us even closer.
Sara: I believe it's my case.
Greg: Territorial. You know, guys don't like that.
Sara: You're crowding me, Greg.
Greg: Well, I have some information that'll bring us even closer.
Greg: I am the man.
Warrick: Why, what'd you do? Let me guess, you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match?
Greg: No.
Grissom: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
Greg: Not quite.
Warrick: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?
Greg: ...no.
Warrick: Why, what'd you do? Let me guess, you ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match?
Greg: No.
Grissom: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
Greg: Not quite.
Warrick: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?
Greg: ...no.
Greg: I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...
Sara: Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?
Greg: Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.
Grissom: The release of epinephrine and adrealine while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimlatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.
Greg: Right.
Sara: Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?
Greg: Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.
Grissom: The release of epinephrine and adrealine while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimlatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.
Greg: Right.
Greg: I think I smell something burning in the DNA lab. I'd love to stay and chat...
Grissom: Greg, I hopes that's not the crossword puzzle.
Grissom: Greg, I hopes that's not the crossword puzzle.
Greg: I thought we had a relationship! What are you doing taking Archie into the field instead of me?
Nick: Right tool for the right job, man. You have to understand the world you're investigating (Greg gives Nick a look) Hey, Archie? What's that "Star Trek" episode with that guy and the forehead thingy and the time portal...?
Archie: In classic, TNG, DS9, Voyager or Enterprise?
Greg: Point taken.
Archie: Or were you thinking about Farscape?
Nick: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Nick: Right tool for the right job, man. You have to understand the world you're investigating (Greg gives Nick a look) Hey, Archie? What's that "Star Trek" episode with that guy and the forehead thingy and the time portal...?
Archie: In classic, TNG, DS9, Voyager or Enterprise?
Greg: Point taken.
Archie: Or were you thinking about Farscape?
Nick: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Greg: I understand why all these cadets are here. They have to be. But what's up with all these off-duty cops?
Catherine: Chance to be a hero. Girl's beautiful. These guys don't get many chances.
Greg: For what?
Catherine: To rescue a princess.
Catherine: Chance to be a hero. Girl's beautiful. These guys don't get many chances.
Greg: For what?
Catherine: To rescue a princess.
Greg: I've got to warn you, oral swabs don't always read right. Vaginal swabs? No problem. Anal swabs? Money.
Nick: Anal swabs?
Greg: Anal swabs.
Nick: Anal swabs?
Greg: Anal swabs.
Greg: Just hedging my bets.
Warrick: How so?
Greg: Well, I need field experience, but before I get that, I need to find a replacement. So far, I'm oh-for-one. Plus, she's hot and thinks you're a tool, so I'm way ahead.
Warrick: How so?
Greg: Well, I need field experience, but before I get that, I need to find a replacement. So far, I'm oh-for-one. Plus, she's hot and thinks you're a tool, so I'm way ahead.
Greg: Mia Dickerson, Warrick Brown.
Warrick: Welcome.
Mia: Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA?
Warrick: Welcome.
Mia: Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA?
Greg: Nick! This is Chandra.
Chandra Moore: Chandra Moore.
Nick: Oh, yeah. Yeah, the new DNA girl. Right?
Chandra Moore: B.S. in bio-chem. M.S. in molecular biology. Five years of service in DNA at the CCL.
Nick: O-kay, well, I'm going to go use the no-pressure, no-AC, stinks-of-feet shower. So... welcome.
Chandra Moore: Chandra Moore.
Nick: Oh, yeah. Yeah, the new DNA girl. Right?
Chandra Moore: B.S. in bio-chem. M.S. in molecular biology. Five years of service in DNA at the CCL.
Nick: O-kay, well, I'm going to go use the no-pressure, no-AC, stinks-of-feet shower. So... welcome.
Greg: No she didn't.
Sara: Greg, she told Warrick she put peanut butter in the chili.
Greg: I don't care if Mr. Peanut was taking a bath in the vic's lunch. It's not what killed him.
Sara: Greg, she told Warrick she put peanut butter in the chili.
Greg: I don't care if Mr. Peanut was taking a bath in the vic's lunch. It's not what killed him.
Greg: Oh, is that alcohol on a bug bite? That's like butter on burns, man. Wives' tale.
Nick: Yeah, this is the guy who told me to put hemorrhoid cream on my acne.
Greg: Worked, didn't it?
Nick: Yeah, this is the guy who told me to put hemorrhoid cream on my acne.
Greg: Worked, didn't it?
Greg: Psst, Grissom. [whispering] We got a development. I went over those swatches that Sara gave me from the bed sheet.
Grissom: Are you whispering?
Greg: I don't want that Gerard guy to hear me.
Grissom: Well, he's not here, so stop it.
Grissom: Are you whispering?
Greg: I don't want that Gerard guy to hear me.
Grissom: Well, he's not here, so stop it.
Greg: Skeletal muscle of Mel Bennett. It goes in... contents come out. In 30 seconds.. bioassay. I like saying that word. Bioassay. Sounds nubian.
Greg: So I ran the blood you found on the gun through CODIS... on my own time... of which I have precious little...
Grissom: Greg, why do you always trail off like that?
Greg: Because you make me nervous.
Grissom: Greg, why do you always trail off like that?
Greg: Because you make me nervous.