Chuck: You want to go on a date some time? I mean a date without aliases, and spy gear, and a mission.
Sarah: Like a real date?
Chuck: Yeah.
Sarah: Chuck, I-I'm still a CIA agent. And there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.
Chuck: What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one last night of fun with me.
Sarah: ...Okay.

Ellie: Well, what happened? What went wrong?
Chuck: I guess something that's been wrong from the start. You know?
Ellie: Are... you guys aren't breaking up, are you?
Chuck: No, no, no, no, no. Trust me. Sarah's not going anywhere.
Ellie: Chuck, I guess I, I don't--I don't know what you're saying exactly.
Chuck: Look El, I know how much you love Sarah. And I know how much you love the idea of us, and us moving forward with you and Devon, but we're not anything like you guys.
Ellie: But you guys seem so perfect.
Chuck: Yeah, I know. I guess, but being in that house with her, it was so close to being perfect. The way I had pictured it would be. Then I realized what was wrong with that picture... And it was us. Sarah and I are never going to be anything more than we are now. But you know what? I'm okay with that.

Ellie: What we need to be is more like Chuck and Sarah.
Chuck: Excuse me?
Ellie: Every time you see her your eyes light up. I mean, How do you keep that spark alive?
Chuck: I-I, you know-I don't think I should be getting involved in-
Awesome: Come on, what's the secret bro?
Chuck: You know what, we-we kinda just, you know, we pretend like we're not really dating, which is weird I know, but it-it-it forces me to have win her over again and again...and again.
Ellie: That is so sweet.

Emmett: Let's start out simple: why do you belong at the Buy More?
Jeff: I satisfy a quota. My dad's part Indian. The cool kind of Indian, though, not like Lester.

Fulcrum Agent: Okay, let's try this one more time. The microchip. Please. The microchip now!
Bryce: Release the kid first.
Chuck: Kid? Honestly, we were born in the same year!

General Beckman: Agent Walker, despite your heroism, you have directly disobeyed several orders...
Chuck: Wait, General, um, I'm sorry but, but isn't the most important part of being my handler making sure I stay alive?
Sarah: It's okay, Chuck.
Casey: No, it's not.
[Everyone looks at Casey]
Casey: Let him finish.
Chuck: Thanks... Um, General. What I'm trying to say is that because my relationship with Sarah is so... you know, we're, we're close. We care about each other. That's-- that's what I'm trying to say. And-- and I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.

General Beckman: How would you feel about working on the new Intersect project? Your government has been building its own Intersect. You've shown real promise. We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck: Uh, well then I think my country might have the wrong number. 'Cause I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

General Beckman: Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I am told you showed great courage.
Barker: Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured.
Casey: He got clipped by a windowsill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.

Jeff: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?
Chuck: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%. But look, buddy, I know you're going through a tough time, but I don't feel comfortable stalking another human being.
Morgan: Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.
Chuck: Which is stalking.

Jill: Thank you for saving my life. Sorry for not trusting you with Chuck.
Sarah: You want to pay me back? Don't hurt him again.
Jill: I won't. I wouldn't. I care about Chuck.
Sarah: Me, too. It's my job to protect him... from anything.

Jill: Who is it?
Chuck: It's the lying, yet well meaning fool who rented a Ferrari last night...
Casey: Ten bucks says she doesn't open the door for him!
Sarah: Make it twenty and you're on.
Jill: I don't want to talk to you Chuck!
Chuck: Okay, well, then I'll do all the talking. I know this may come as a shock to you but I'm here to do something totally crazy and tell you the truth. I still work at the Buy More, and, uh, I still live with my sister and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I guess I just wanted you to think that I was someone special. So, in order to accomplish that I went out and got a new suit and rented a car that I clearly have no idea how to drive because from the second I saw you again I knew that I hadn't gotten over you yet, Jill.
Jill: Really? You haven't gotten over me?
Chuck: No...
Jill: Get in here. [Casey pays up bet]

Lester: I'm too young, upwardly mobile, and handsome to die.

Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, Bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.

Lester: What was that about?
Chuck: I'm helping Ellie and Awesome find a band for their wedding.
Lester: Then this, sir, is your lucky day.
Jeff: We'll handle it from here.
Chuck: You're going to help me find a band?
Lester: No, you misunderstand. You found your band. It is WE. [points to himself and Jeff] We'll play your sister's big day.
Chuck: Wait-- Wait a minute, you guys have a band?
Jeff: Jeff...
Lester: ...Lester...
Jeff and Lester: JEFFSTER!!
Chuck: That seems very fitting.
Jeff: Originally, we were going to go with the name "Jester," but we didn't want people to associate us with a couple of fools.
Chuck: Obviously not.

Man: Is there a problem? [Chuck hides under desk]
Chuck: Can you tell me if the attractive, brown eyed, slightly egg headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still here?
Man: She's here; why, who is she?
Chuck: Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart. I need-I need a diversion; would-would it be a terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?
Jill: Hi, I'm Dr Jill Roberts. Is there someone who can help me with the tech requirements for my lecture?
Man: Under the desk.