Morgan: Thanks for pantsing me.
Chuck: Anytime buddy.

Morgan: This is just getting a little personal.
Casey: Right, new tactic. You finish the story or I put your head through the wall.
Morgan: Okay, someone wasn't hugged enough as a child.

Morgan: Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever ever break up with Sarah?
Awesome: Ask Ellie, it was her idea.
Morgan: Really?
Ellie: What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.
Morgan: [Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one!
Ellie: How do you know?
Morgan: How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right? The Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.

Morgan: We know exactly what you look like, Shaw. Six foot two, 220 raven-black hair. Very attractive.

Morgan: What happened, Chuck? You used to be cool.
Chuck: I used to be cool? When, when was that? When we were 13? Well, I hate to go changing on you, buddy, but if you hadn't noticed we are now, chronologically speaking, adults. So, unless you want to work retail for the rest of your life and, by the way, drag me down with you in the process, I would suggest that you grow up!

Morgan: You know, a couple's first fight actually sets the tone for all future arguments. Trust me, I'm going through it right now myself.
Chuck: You and Alex?
Morgan: No, me and Casey, actually.

Morgan: You know, if I was standing on my wallet, I'd be tall.

Morgan: Your description of C.A.T. Squad has sent me into fantasy land.
Chuck: I don't want to know what goes on there.

Mr. Turner: Oh God, it's us 30 years ago.
Chuck: Look, Sarah. It's us in 30 years!

Mrs. Winterbottom: [firing a machine gun at an assault team on her lawn] There go my primroses! Eat lead, you bastards!

Narrator: [closing voice-over, in reference to Ellie] Aw, who says cats can't play nice? You never know, maybe we'll add another member to this squad.
[Chuck watches from a distance and slowly smiles]

Narrator: [opening sequence] They say it's a personality thing, but to me, a martini's got gin, not vodka. Some folks like chocolate. I'll take vanilla. I say baseball over football. And to me, man's best friend doesn't bark or catch a ball. See, personally, I like cats. Meet my Clandestine Attack Team. Better known as the CAT Squad. Me-ow. They were the best spy team in the business. The year... 2003. The girls... Cold-hearted Carina. [Carina shoots a man] Zondra, the bitch! [Zondra fights a number of men] Amy-- the party girl. [Amy defends herself from an attacker at a party] And... my pride and joy... Sarah Walker. [Sarah kicks a man and holds him at knifepoint] Go get 'em, cats!
[Smash cut to a chuckling Morgan, revealing the entire sequence to be in his imagination]

Ned: [talking about Casey] Hey, hey, I uh, feel terrible about shooting your friend's toe off.
Chuck: No, no, no, that's okay. Sometimes I feel like shooting him myself.

Nicos Vassilis: [realizing that Chuck stole the mask] Oh he's good. A real Casanova this one... He used the blond to get into the vault...and seduced the computer girl to access the security system.

Roan: [preparing Chuck to seduce an enemy agent] We need to talk about protection.
Chuck: I really don't think it's going to get that far, Roan.
Roan: I mean a gun. Do you know why she's called the "black widow?"
Chuck: Because she's African-American, and her husband died?