Chuck quotes

412 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1   Season 2   Season 3   Season 4   Season 5  



Jeff: Let's get this party started.
Casey: [eager to kill Riley's mercenaries] My sentiments exactly.

Jeff: What if you're the unwitting target of a ninja vendetta and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchuks?
Chuck: ...That's super, Jeff. Thanks for thinking outside the box on that one. And here I thought I couldn't get any more freaked out.

Jill: Thank you for saving my life. Sorry for not trusting you with Chuck.
Sarah: You want to pay me back? Don't hurt him again.
Jill: I won't. I wouldn't. I care about Chuck.
Sarah: Me, too. It's my job to protect him... from anything.

Jill: Who is it?
Chuck: It's the lying, yet well meaning fool who rented a Ferrari last night...
Casey: Ten bucks says she doesn't open the door for him!
Sarah: Make it twenty and you're on.
Jill: I don't want to talk to you Chuck!
Chuck: Okay, well, then I'll do all the talking. I know this may come as a shock to you but I'm here to do something totally crazy and tell you the truth. I still work at the Buy More, and, uh, I still live with my sister and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I guess I just wanted you to think that I was someone special. So, in order to accomplish that I went out and got a new suit and rented a car that I clearly have no idea how to drive because from the second I saw you again I knew that I hadn't gotten over you yet, Jill.
Jill: Really? You haven't gotten over me?
Chuck: No...
Jill: Get in here. [Casey pays up bet]

Justin: Shaw, Bartowski's infiltrated the base.
Shaw: Of course he did. [to Sarah] Why would your boyfriend ever think with an organ besides his heart?
Justin: No, sir, not this base. Bartowski and his father found the other one, the Ring base. Triggered the silent alarm.
Shaw: Dammit!
Casey: I don't know when it happened but our boy became a man. Bartowski's a spy. You picked a good one, Walker. Finally.

La Ciudad: I think your hand is supposed to be on my hip.
Chuck: Right. Apparently I learned the girls' part of this dance. Would you mind leading?

Laszlo: [pointing a gun at Chuck] I was framed! Okay? You have to believe me, I am not murderer!
Chuck: Okay! Okay! I believe you! But FYI, you're kinda acting like a murderer.

Lester: [after Jeff picks up phone for no reason] The phone did not ring, Jeffrey.

Lester: [under the effects of brainwashing] Morgan Grimes is the kindest, warmest, most understanding human being I've ever known in my life.

Lester: Ew...pregnant women.
Jeff: Ooh...pregnant women.

Lester: I got a fat stack burning a hole in my crotch.

Lester: I'm just gonna say it: I need a woman. It's been far too long, Jeffrey. A man has needs.
Jeff: So what's the plan?
Lester: I will be hitting on all the applicable women in Electronics, DVDs, and all around the entrances, and the emergency exits.
Jeff: You're leaving me Home Appliances? It's full of lumpy housewives. My favorite.
Lester: You're welcome.

Lester: I'm too young, upwardly mobile, and handsome to die.

Lester: Jeffrey, you blew the amp. Don't you know it's not the size of the instrument that matters, but how much and how long and how often your mother catches you playing?

Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, Bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.