Castle: You were a girl once.
Beckett: [Smirks] Still am...
Castle: [Holding up a picture of Alexis sitting on a Vespa ] Can you tell me why my daughter wants one of these so badly?
Beckett: Old bikes are what girls want when we realize we're never gonna get a pony.

Castle: [holding a DVD] Wait! That's it? I mean, no pomp? No circumstance? What's on this could shape the foundations of our very existence. We need to pause and savor-
Beckett: [taking the DVD] Please, let's just stick it in and get this over with.

Dispatch:Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty, repeat. Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty. One Lincoln Forty, are you there?
Beckett:One Lincoln Forty. Please be advised, this is now a homicide.

Esposito: I found something unusual. Almost every morning she bought coffee.
Ryan: A doctor that drinks coffee, wow that is unusual.
Esposito: It is. The coffee shop is twenty blocks from her apartment.
Castle: Maybe it was on her way to work?
Esposito: Nope, complete opposite direction.
Castle: Boyfriend in the neighborhood?
Esposito: Only one way to find out. (walks away)
Ryan: Great, now he's mad at me.

Esposito: That was a nice thing you guys did in there.
Castle: Well, I just thought that after everything Greg did for her, they deserve a chance. Besides, if it were you and I in Amy's shoes, we'd still be rotting in prison.
Esposito: Huh, speak for yourself, bro. I'd escape.
Castle: What, you'd just leave me in there?
Esposito: It's the law of the jungle. I gotta look out for numero uno.
Castle: Wow. Nothing like a hypothetical prison term to let you know who your friends really are.
Beckett: Don't worry Castle, I'd get you out.

Martha: I Heard about the shooting on the news. Could have been you. You know that, don't you?
Castle: Yeah, but I'm fine, wasn't me.
Martha: Richard, this isn't one of your books, you don't know the ending! You were just lucky yesterday.
Castle: [Somewhat nonchalant] You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?
Martha: [Shocked and furious at his flippant attitude] How the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis, and that is how much I love you, and don't you dare ask me where this is coming from! You have gotten through most of life on your wit, and charm and no small amount of talent. But that is the real world out there, and you can't charm your way out of a bullet.
Castle: You think I should quit?
Martha: I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You had written 22 novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.
Castle: It's not about the books anymore.

Martha: It's like when I was doing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and I thought my understudy was trying to poison me.
Castle: Oh, yeah, the daily blood tests I paid for. Wait, she did poison you. The Swiss chocolate she gave you was a laxative.
Martha: Eh, added a certain urgency to my performance. But the point is, you indulged my paranoia. So therefore I'm going to be in the park - five 'o clock - at a discreet distance to make sure that Alexis' secret admirer is not an axe murderer.

Martha: Richard. Whatever mistakes I've made in my life, I raised a good man.

Martha: This is... the best thing that has ever happened to you. Rejection is the bedrock of a great acting career. Until an actor has suffered, he hasn't really lived.
Alexis: Thanks, gram.
Martha: You're welcome. And besides, auditions are like men. There's another one right around the corner.

Montgomery: An FBI profile was as close as we came to ID-ing a suspect. Feds say he's a white male, 25 to 45 years old,
Castle: [To Beckett] Could be me.
Montgomery: Has a dysfunctional relationship with his mother,
Castle: Still me.
Montgomery: He has a menial, unimportant job.
Beckett: [To Castle] Definitely you.
Castle: Just for that, I'm basing my next book on Esposito. [Beckett glares at Castle]

Montgomery: You really think she (Bridget McManus) could overpower Zack (Zack Lindsey)?
Ryan: Uh, no, but her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them, each over 6 foot, each with his own claim to fame... Assaults...
Castle: Oh.
Ryan: Ag. Assault...
Castle: Bad.
Ryan: A.D.W.,
Castle: Ee.
Ryan: Battery...
Castle: Mm.
Ryan: Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.
Castle: Doesn't count.
Montgomery: Easy.
Ryan: Dude.
Castle: I... just jokes.

Natalie: Is Castle gay?
Beckett: [So shocked that she spits out her coffee] I'm sorry, what? No. No!
Natalie: Then you two are an item, but you're sworn to secrecy, right?
Beckett: No, we are not an item. Why?
Natalie: [Sighs] Last night I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me I have never heard from a man before.
Beckett: What?
Natalie: "No."
Beckett: [Raises her eyebrows] No?
Natalie: I don't get it! He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally verbal masturbation.
Beckett: Uh--okay, so what does this have to do with me?
Natalie: [Indicates her "Beckett costume"] I am not wearing this getup for my health. You're Nikki Heat, he's Jameson Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?
Beckett: And say what?
Natalie: [Shrugs] I dunno, give him permission or something.
[Beckett is momentarily speechless]
Beckett: I have to go. Over there. [She disappears in a random direction]

Raglan: [Indicates Castle] Lady, what part of "no cops" did you not understand?
Beckett: He's not a cop.
Raglan: Well, who the hell is he, then?
Beckett: Someone I trust.

Random: I wasn't running away! I was jogging.
Beckett: So what were you doing climbing down the side of a building?
Random: Uh, Cross-training. [Nods sagely] Better cardiovascular workout.

Ryan: He didn't kill Goldstein, but he did kill squirrel-stein. [Holds up a dead squirrel] What're the odds, huh?
Castle: Oh no, they took his clothes too!
Ryan: Could you...? [hands dead squirrel to officer]
Esposito: Awwwww!
Ryan: Yeah I know, I'm sorry.