Castle quotes

215 total quotes



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Castle: There are two things in abundance in South Africa: racial hatred and diamonds.

Castle: This is both literally, and figuratively, cool.

Castle: Well, the pen is mightier than the sword, but a baseball bat can be pretty effective too.

Castle: What broke?
Alexis: Stupid glass.
Castle: Remind me to get smarter glasses.

Castle: What is it with professional sports? Even the agencies are on steroids.
Beckett: Fox's client list is a veritable who's-who of star athletes. Five percent of their endorsements and salaries? You could pay for half of lower Manhattan.
Castle: ...did you just use the word "veritable?"
Beckett: Yes, I did.
Castle: Sexy.
Beckett: You should hear me say "fallacious."

Castle: What's a good time?
Beckett: Well, if you don't know by now, it's probably too late to show you.

Castle: Wilder, Daemon Wilder?
Esposito: Yeah, you know him?
Castle: I know of him, this is a photo of one of his ad campaigns. He runs a line of boutique men's skin care products.
Ryan: You mean like bathroom stuff?
Castle: He's got a toner; totally alcohol free. Fantastic. He's got a shaving cream that is ridiculous.
Esposito: I'm good with the drug store stuff man.
Castle: No no no no, hang on. This stuff will change your life. (squirt)
Esposito: It's hot...
Castle: It's hot.
Ryan: It's hot?
Castle: It's HOT.
Ryan: It's hot! How do they do that?

Castle: You don't think Fletcher's telling Jerry the truth?
Beckett: That he's suddenly a con-man with a heart of gold? No. That's just another con.
Castle: Wait, you don't think people can change?
Beckett: No. I've seen too many repeat offenders to believe for one second that a guy who promises never to beat his wife again actually won't.
Castle: That's a pretty bleak attitude.
Beckett: Not bleak - realistic.

Castle: You know, we might wanna swing down by the museum, see if any of his colleagues can shed some light on who might wanna drop a gargoyle on Medina's head.
Beckett: Either you are being a good cop or you just wanna go to the museum.
Castle: They have dinosaurs there!
Beckett: [Chuckles] Let's go.

Castle: You want me to put on some music? Whenever they do this sort of thing on CSI, they always do it to music in poorly lit rooms. Kinda reminds me of porn.

Castle:This is dead. You're not. Time to start making new memories

Clerk: Here you go sir.
Beckett: I cannot believe that you asked for samples.
Castle: She said anything we needed!
Beckett: (Hmph)
Castle: Besides, it's not for me; it's for Ryan and Esposito.
Beckett: Don't you mean Charlotte and Miranda?
Castle: Wait a minute, that would make me Carrie.
Beckett: You are SO metro-sexual for even knowing that!
Castle: I only watched that show out of the corner of my eye when my mother had it on! That did not come out right...

Conman's fiance: He wasn't a con man. He was in the CIA.
Castle: [thrilled] Best case ever.
Beckett: [half-interrupting him] Shut up.

Esposito [to Castle]: Why do you care about some mother-freaking snakes on a mother-freaking plane?

Esposito: [About the bachelor-party cop twins' uniforms at the photo shoot] Hey, Beckett, how come you don't wear a uniform like that?
Beckett: Because I don't want to be paid in singles.