Buffy: I don't think he could feel any worse.
Anya: Let's test that theory.
Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong, and if it happened to me, I'd-
Anya: Wish his penis would explode?

Buffy: I doubt we'll even see each other. Assuming I even half understand my fuzzy job description.
Dawn: It's not fuzzy. You're what, dealing with troubled kids?
Xander: At a spanking new Hellmouth High. Please, outside of drugs, violence, and unwanted pregnancy and the unleashing of hordes of Armageddon that comes pouring out of its schools foundation every now and then, what trouble could these kids have?

Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For hundreds of years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

Buffy: I know this. It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.
Giles: Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.

Buffy: I know you. You were in that costume shop.
Ethan Rayne: I'm pleased you remember.
Buffy: You sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed!
Ethan Rayne: But you looked great.

Buffy: I know. But you should go. This trip is important for the girls, to understand the source of their power, and know how to use it right.
Giles: I don't think they appreciate the gravity of what we're undertaking. It's frightening and it's difficult. Then, apparently someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the hokey pokey.. until a spooky rasta mama slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles.

Buffy: I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.
Robin: What do you mean usually?

Buffy: I so don't want to deal with Spike right now. The guy is really starting to bug me in that special "I want to shove something wooden through his heart" kind of way.

Buffy: I think it's maybe some kind of scythe. The only thing I know for sure is that it made Caleb back off in a hurry.
Willow: [to Giles] So it's true. Scythe matters.

Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Buffy: I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. It's not like you were exposed more than once. Twice?
Xander: Three times a Fish Guy.
Buffy, Willow: Oh.
Cordelia: Whoa!
Xander: What am I gonna do?
Cordelia: You, you, you! What about me?! It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the Creature from the Blue Lagoon.
Xander: Black Lagoon! The Creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you so much for your support!
Buffy: I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.

Buffy: I'd like to find Willow and Xander.
Joyce: Will you be slaying?
Buffy: Only if they give me lip.

Buffy: I'm Buffy. I'm new.
Xander: Xander. Is - is me. Hi.
Buffy: Um, thanks.
Xander: Well, uh, maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school... since we... both... go there.
Buffy: Great! It was nice to meet you. [walks away]
Xander: We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic.

Buffy: I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make it pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine.
[uncomfortable pause]
Buffy: That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.