[At Giles's apartment, Xander and Anya are arguing about their relationship.]
Xander: If you don't know how I feel about -
Anya: I don't. This isn't a relationship! You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.
[The others are silent with disbelief.]
Xander: OK... remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?
Spike: Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.
Giles: Please don't.

[Buffy admonishes Willow on her choice of a boring ghost costume.]
Buffy: It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.
Willow: Free candy?
Buffy: It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.
Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.

[Buffy and Angel are hunting vampires in a cemetery at night.]
Buffy: So this is our future? This is how we're going to spend our nights when I'm fifty and you're... the same age you are now?
[A vampire growls behind them.]
Angel: Let's just get you to fifty.
Buffy: Liking that plan.

[Buffy and Angel are in the sewers looking for a vampire]
Buffy: I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers.
Angel: I'm sure I saw him come down here.
Buffy: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big. [Holds hands apart to indicate size]

[Buffy and Giles are walking toward the high school.]
Buffy: Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except he's starting to get that look, you know, like he's gonna ask me to prom.
Giles: Well, it would probably be good for his self-esteem, if you...
Buffy: Oh, come on! What am I, Saint Buffy? He's, like, three feet tall!
Giles: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks right into a tree.]

[Buffy attempts to find out the secret ingredient of Doublemeat burgers.]
Buffy: Sorry, I was just curious.
Manny the Manager: Curiosity killed the cat.
Buffy: [whispers] Theory number 5: cat burgers.

[Buffy confronts Faith about killing Deputy Mayor Allan Finch (whom she thought was a vampire)]
Buffy: Faith, you can shut off all the emotions that you want. But eventually, they're gonna find a body.
Faith: Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this conversation, and we're not even having it now, you understand me? There is no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist.
Buffy: Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go away.
Faith: It does for me.
Buffy: Faith, you don't get it - you killed a man.
Faith: No, you don't get it - I don't care!

[Buffy explains Adam's evil plan]
Xander: Does anyone else miss the Mayor? "I just wanna be a big snake"?

[Buffy finds Jonathan in the clock tower with a rifle.]
Jonathan: Go away!
Buffy: Never gonna happen.
Jonathan: You think I won't use this?
Buffy: I don't know, Jonathan. I just �
Jonathan: Stop doing that!
Buffy: Doing what?
Jonathan: Stop saying my name like we're friends! We're not friends! You all think I'm an idiot! A short idiot!
Buffy: I don't. I don't think about you much at all. Nobody here really does. Bugs you, doesn't it? You have all this pain and all these feelings, and nobody's really paying attention?
Jonathan: You think I just want attention?
Buffy: No. I think you're up in the clock tower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in. Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain.
Jonathan [bitterly]: Oh, right! Because the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler!
Buffy: You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now.
Jonathan: I know.
Buffy: [holds out hand] I'd rather do it this way. [gently takes the rifle from Jonathan as he hands it to her]

[Buffy is an inpatient in a psychiatric ward in an "alternate reality" LA. Hank and Joyce Summers, still married, are sitting with Buffy as they consult with her psychiatrist.]
Buffy: [sobbing] Dawn...
Joyce: Dawn?
Psychiatrist: The sister. She was introduced last year. It didn't make a lot of sense though, did it Buffy? She altered the fabric of her reality drastically. (meta-commenting on how the abrupt introduction of Dawn altered the entire series)

[Buffy is standing by the Christmas tree, helping her mother to decorate it.]
Joyce: So, Angel's on top again?
Buffy: What?
Joyce: [holding up Christmas decorations] Angel? Or star?
Buffy: Oh. Er, star.

[Buffy prods Willow about her interest in Oz.]
Willow: Oh, I don't know, though. He is a senior.
Buffy: You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial.
...
Buffy:You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move. Do the talking thing.
Willow: Well, what if the talking thing becomes the awkward-silence thing?

[Buffy tells Angel about her dream, in which Drusilla kills him.]
Angel: Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?
Buffy: I dreamt ... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.
Angel: You see my point?

[Buffy tries to convince Giles she truly is Buffy, despite being trapped in Faith's body.]
Buffy [in Faith's body]: Giles, you turned into a demon and I knew it was you. I mean, can't you just look into my eyes and be all intuitive?
Giles: How did I turn into a demon?
Buffy [in Faith's body]: Oh! 'cause, uh... Ethan Rayne! And you have a girlfriend named Olivia, and you haven't had a job since we blew up the school - which is valid, lifestyle-wise. I mean, it's not like you're a slacker type, but... Oh, oh! When I had psychic power, I heard my mom think that you were like a stevedore during sex. Wh-Do you want me to continue?
Giles: Actually, I beg you to stop.
Buffy [in Faith's body]: What's a stevedore?

[Buffy's former flame Riley has returned to Sunnydale with a wife.]
Willow: Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
Buffy: Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.
Willow: Well, that's the beauty. You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.
Buffy: Go nuts.