Warren: What the hell is that?
Andrew: Death Star, dude! Wicked, huh?
Jonathan: Uh, thermal exhaust port's above the main port, numbnuts.
Andrew: For your information, I'm using the Empire's revised design from Return of the Jedi.
Jonathan: That's a flawed design!

Warren: You think you could just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that? [laughs some seconds] Think again. [Points a gun at Buffy and shoot five times, three of them while he runs away]
Tara: [Has been shot in her chest from behind, looking confused at Willow] Your shirt...

Wesley: Ah, this is perhaps Faith.
Faith: New Watcher?
Buffy, Giles: New Watcher.
Faith: Screw that. [she turns and leaves]
Buffy: Now why didn't I just say that?

Wesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.
Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie!

Wesley: I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help.
Cordelia: That is so classy! Isn't he just so classy?
Buffy: It's a start.
Wesley: So there is something I can do? Besides scream like a woman.

Wesley: Mr. Giles! I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I would want to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance--
Giles: For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just--have at it, will you, and stop fluttering about?

Wesley: Now hold on, we can deal with this rationally. We have something you want, you have something we want...
Balthazar: A trade, intriguing... No, wait, boring. Pull off his kneecaps!

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that count. That's when you find out who you are.

Willow: 'Have a nice summer', 'Have a nice summer'. This girl had no friends at all.
Giles: Once again I teeter at the precipice of the generational gap.
Buffy: 'Have a nice summer' is what you write when you have nothing to say.
Xander: It's the kiss of death.

Willow: [about Angel] So he is a good vampire? I mean on a scale of one to ten. Ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, one being someone who's... not.

Willow: [about her costume] I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake, plus she has that close relationship with God.
Xander: [to Oz] And you are?
[Oz opens his jacket and reveals a name tag that says "God."]
Xander: Of course. I wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God.
Oz: Blasphemer.

Willow: [on the phone with Rupert Giles] Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. [pause] No, not bitchy crazy, more like... homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, OK?

Willow: [Speaking of Oz's return] It's complicated...because of Tara.
Buffy: You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No... [suddenly realizes Willow is in love with Tara] Oh!!
...
Buffy: [almost babbling with the shock of Willow's revelation] Well, there you go! I mean, you know, you have to... follow your heart, Will. And that's what's important, Will.
Willow: Why do you keep saying my name like that?
Buffy: Like what, Will?
Willow: Are you freaked?
Buffy: [overly insistent] What? No, Will! [pauses, then gathers her emotions] No. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told me.
...
Willow: I don't want to hurt anyone, Buffy.
Buffy: No matter what, somebody's going to get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest or it's going to be a lot worse.

Willow: [spots Oz] Ooh, boyfriend! It's my on campus boyfriend!
Buffy: Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line's probably really long now too.