Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes

733 total quotes


The First (as Cassie): [after trying to trick Willow into believing Tara wants her to kill herself] I can see it now. Candlelight, the Indigo Girls playing, picture of your dead girlfriend on your bloody lap... [mocking] Oh, baby, you left such a big hole. It hurt so bad! [serious] You don't know hurt. This last year's gonna seem like cake after what I put you and your friends through, and I am not a fan of easy death. Fact is, the whole good versus evil, balancing the scales thing? I'm over it. I'm done with the mortal coil. But believe me, I'm going for a big finish.
Willow: "From beneath you, it devours."
The First (as Cassie): Oh, not "it"... ME.

The First: I'm not a demon, little girl, I am something you cannot even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin. Beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being. Every thought. Every drop of hate.
Buffy: All right, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?
The First: Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas will be his wake.
Buffy: No.
The First: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Buffy: Let me guess. Is it... evil?
The First: [transforms into a fearsome demonic form, then vanishes] DEAD BY SUNRISE!

The Master: [during an earthquake] Yes! Yes! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! Glory!
[The earthquake stops]
The Master: [to Collin] Whaddaya think? 5.1?

The Master: [reading from the writing of Aurelius] "There will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him. And he will lead her into Hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him, and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. "And one of the Brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait...
[He grabs one of the Brethren by the throat]
The Master: That's not written anywhere. The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer. If you fail to bring him to me... If you allow that girl to stop you...
[He throws the vampire into a coffin]
The Master: Here endeth the lesson.

The Master: [to Buffy] What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?

The Master: Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my Hell is on Earth?
Buffy: You're that amped about Hell? Go there!
Season 2

The Master: You're dead.
Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
The Master: You were destined to die! It was written!
Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written.

Vamp Willow: Hmm, Buffy. Oooh. Scary.
Vamp Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts.

Vamp Willow: Xander!
Xander: Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you!
Vamp Willow: [smiling] You're alive.
Xander: Uh, Will, this is verging on naughty touching here, don't wanna fall back on bad habits - Hands! Hands in new places!
Vamp Willow: [revolted] You're alive.
...
Buffy: [approaches Xander and Vamp Willow] So, Xander, are you gonna introduce me to- [Vamp Willow turns to Buffy] Holy God, you're Willow.
Vamp Willow: [instantly hostile] You.
Buffy: [nervous, trying to be polite] You know what? I-I like the look. It's, um, it's extreme, but it, it, it looks good, you know, it's a... leather thing, and, uh... I said "extreme" already, right?

Vi: It's like a gay bar...but with demons.

Warren: I just, I wanted us to be together!
Katrina: There is no us, Warren! Get that through your big meaty head! I am not your girlfriend anymore!
Jonathan: She's your ex?
Andrew: Dude, that is messed up.
Katrina: Oh, you think? You bunch of little boys, playing at being men. Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!

Warren: It was an accident, you know.
Dark Willow: Oh. You mean, instead of killing my best friend you killed my girlfriend.
Warren: It wasn't personal, that's all.
Dark Willow: Well this is.

Warren: Oh God... Stop it -
Dark Willow: It's not going to make a neat little hole. First - it'll obliterate your internal organs. Your lung will collapse, feels like drowning...
Warren: Please! No-
Dark Willow: When it finally hits your spine, it'll blow your central nervous system-
Warren: Stop!! God, please!
[Willow sews his mouth shut by magic.]

Warren: Okay, we'll scratch your back, you scratch...
Spike: I'm not going to scratch your anything. You do what I tell you.

Warren: So how did you get so beautiful?
Katrina: Okay, does that line usually work?
[Katrina realizes it is her ex-boyfriend Warren]
Katrina: What the hell are you doing here?
Warren: It's nice seeing you again too, Katrina.
Katrina: Yeah, it's the "seeing you" part that's throwing me here, Warren, because I thought I was pretty clear with the "never wanting that to happen again."
Warren: That was a long time, baby.
Katrina: Apparently not long enough.
Warren: Oh, you're not still sore about that thing, are you?
Katrina: What thing would that be, exactly? The "wind-up-slut" you tinkered together? Or when Miss "Nuts-'n-Bolts" tried to choke me to death?
Warren: Okay, so, I've made a few mistakes...
Katrina: No, no, I did - for ever lowering myself to be with a jerk like you.
[Katrina gets up but Warren grabs her]
Warren: No, don't say that.
Katrina: Well, what did you expect? Just... waltz there and sweep me off my feet with your cheesy lines and fancy suit?
Warren: No! I-I just... thought we could talk... maybe work things out.
Katrina: There is nothing to work out. What you did was sick, and just looking at you makes me want to vomit!
Warren: Are you sure about that?
[Warren puts his red sunglasses on, and goes for his pocket]
Katrina: Yes, God yes I'm sure...!
[Warren flashes the mind-controlling device in front of her; Katrina stares at it, and then at Warren, blankly]
Katrina: I love you, Master.