Buffy: What are you doing here? [Spike begins to answer] Five words or less.
Spike: [Pauses, then, counting on his fingers] Out... for... a... walk... bitch.
Buffy: Out for a walk by my house at night. I don't have time for this, William.
Spike: On your merry way, then. Contrary to one's self involved world view, your house happens to be directly between... parts and... other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day but I feel I'm outgrowing my burst into flames phase.
Buffy: Fine. Keep going. I'll cut you a break.
Spike: Let me guess. You won't kill me. The whole crowd pleasing threats and swagger routine. Outstandingly original. You know, I was just passing through. Satisfied? I hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in your life besides shagging Captain Cardboard. And... and I never really liked you anyway. And... and you have stupid hair.

Buffy: What are you doing here?
Ethan Rayne: Snooping around.
Buffy: Honesty... nice touch.
Ethan Rayne: It's one of my virtues... not really.

Buffy: What happened to Xander?
Giles: He kept poking me with his hook. I sent him over to Charmed Objects. With any luck, he'll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a fifty-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates.

Buffy: What is it with those guys?
Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.
Xander: Well, every school has 'em. See, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.

Buffy: What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
Spike: Maybe I dumped her!
Harmony: She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
Spike: Harm!

Buffy: What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?
Spike: A d-Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean... do you want it to be?
Buffy: Spike, the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious

Buffy: Will you quit that? The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your charms. Last night... was the most perverse... degrading experience of my life.
Spike: Yeah. Me too.
Buffy: That might get you off, but it's not my style.
Spike: No. It's your calling.

Buffy: Will, I think you better get used to- a Twinkie!? That's his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished.
Willow: [pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.

Buffy: With Mom at Aunt Darlene's this year, I'm not getting a Thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well.
Anya: Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.
Buffy: It's not really a one of those.
Anya: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice... with pie.

Buffy: Xander, did I ever thank you for saving my life?
Xander: No.
Buffy: Don't you wish I would?

Buffy: Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?
Xander: I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah.

Buffy: Xander, one of these days, you're gonna get yourself hurt.
Faith: Or killed.
Buffy: Or both. And you know, with the pain and then the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be fray-adjacent.
Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?
Faith: Yeah. That was real manly, how you shrieked and all.
Xander: I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.

Buffy: Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.
Xander: [softly] It used to be.
Buffy: It just happened, okay?
Xander: Oh, like, uh, "Say, you're evil. Get on me"?
Buffy: You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn.
Xander: But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?

Buffy: Yeah, we can go home. I've got the SAT's tomorrow.
Joyce: Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note.

Buffy: You guys can do the brain thing, I'm gonna go to class.
Oz: Which could also be construed as the 'brain thing'.
Buffy: Not when you're minoring in Nap 101.