Booth: We're partners, you know, together all the time, all right? You're a woman, and I'm a man. I never had a relationship like this where we were, like, two guys -- except you're not, you know, a guy.
Brennan: No. No, I'm not. Should I feel odd about wanting to hang out with Will?
Booth: No, of course not. 'Cause essentially you're a guy, like me, but not really.
Brennan: That would mean that to me, you are, essentially, a woman. Yeah, I can see that.
Booth: No, no, no, no. I'd prefer not to be a woman, if you don't mind.
Brennan: I'm merely trying to follow your reasoning, Booth.

Booth: We're running out of time.
Zack: Minor correction. Dr. Brennan and Hodgins will run out of air in four seconds. We are out of time.

Booth: Welcome home, Bones.
Brennan: Thank you. Welcome home, Booth.

Booth: Well, in your book, your partner's a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life, you got me.
Brennan: So what you're saying is that reality falls far, far short of the fictional.
Booth: Yeah. Thanks a lot, Bones.

Booth: Well, you're the one who says that you can't argue with the choices that Broadsky makes on who he's gonna shoot.
Caroline: Yeah, I can't fault that, but now the man has crossed a line.
Booth: Causing a suicide?
Caroline: No. Man sneaks into your house, threatens you with a gun. That's unforgivable. He should get lethally injected just for that.

Booth: What are you doing?
Brennan: I'm throwing out my book.
Booth: It's still on your hard drive, right?
Brennan: No, not any more it's not.
Booth: You erased it? Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
Brennan: I don't want to be a writer any more.
Booth: Oh, why? Because of what that publisher said? He was an idiot. Did you see his glasses?
Brennan: Well, I don't want to be a sexy scientist.
Booth: Well, that's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are.

Booth: What are you trying to do?
Brennan: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.

Booth: What's it going to take?
Brennan: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Brennan: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.

Booth: What's that smell?
Brennan: It's mold. It grows in the fat creases of morbidly obese people.
Mrs. Epps: What is this about? Did you bring me here to make fun of me?
Brennan: I merely stated a fact, Mrs. Epps. You need to lose weight. Obesity also causes diabetes, heart damage, liver failure. Not to mention the wear it puts on your joints.
Mrs. Epps: I have a glandular condition. A little compassion and understanding, that's what I really need.

Booth: Why do we only solve crimes when we have a dead body?
Cam: Seriously? Because I'm a pathologist and she's a forensic anthropologist. [points to herself] Fresh dead. [points to Dr. Brennan] Long time dead.

Booth: Why does he need a driver?
Zack: I can't drive.
Booth: You're a genius who can't drive?
Zack: If you knew what I know about structural design, you wouldn't drive either.
Hodgins: You want in on the action?
Angela: No thank you. I'm going to go have sex.
Hodgins: Have a good time.
Zack: Yeah, okay...

Booth: Why'd you tell Sweets? He's gonna come in here. He's gonna cry and stuff.

Booth: Yeah, Bones doesn't intimidate.
Cam: Then... what?
Booth: Have you seen the way she stares at human remains before she makes a decision?
Cam: Yes.
Booth: You're human remains and... she hasn't made a decision yet.

Booth: Yeah, it did. It did.

Booth: You can't have a gun.
Brennan: Why not?
Booth: Because you were charged with a felony.
Brennan: Write down that you were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there is no space for that.