Bewitched quotes
53 total quotes[After George Washington sees Abraham Lincoln's face on the $5 bill and his on the $1 bill].
George Washington: And who is this bearded fellow?
Samantha: That's Abraham Lincoln. The 16th president.
George Washington: He must have been a very fine president to have his name honored on a $5 bill.
Samantha: He was an excellent president, Sir.
George Washington: Better than me?
Darrin: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
George Washington: Then why is President Lincoln's name on a $5 bill while the father of his country is only on a $1 bill?
Samantha: Well, you see, more people can afford $1 bills than $5 bills which means more people see your picture than Abraham Lincoln's.
George Washington: And who is this bearded fellow?
Samantha: That's Abraham Lincoln. The 16th president.
George Washington: He must have been a very fine president to have his name honored on a $5 bill.
Samantha: He was an excellent president, Sir.
George Washington: Better than me?
Darrin: Oh, I wouldn't say that.
George Washington: Then why is President Lincoln's name on a $5 bill while the father of his country is only on a $1 bill?
Samantha: Well, you see, more people can afford $1 bills than $5 bills which means more people see your picture than Abraham Lincoln's.
[After losing to Charlie all day.]
Darrin: Believe me honey, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I finally beat Charlie at something.
Samantha: You said you lost by 12 strokes.
Darrin: 11.
Samantha: Oh, pardon me.
Darrin: But we flipped a coin to see who'd tip the caddy and I won. It cost me ten bucks, but I won.
Darrin: Believe me honey, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I finally beat Charlie at something.
Samantha: You said you lost by 12 strokes.
Darrin: 11.
Samantha: Oh, pardon me.
Darrin: But we flipped a coin to see who'd tip the caddy and I won. It cost me ten bucks, but I won.
[After Samantha has convinced the bully's mother that he only imagined himself as a bullfrog]
Tabitha: Young lady! You have nothing to laugh about, you started this whole mess. Now, how are we gonna deal with you?
Tabitha: I have an idea.
Tabitha: What's that?
Tabitha: How about a little love and understanding?
Tabitha: Why is it that I feel like the fox thats been cornered by the chicken!?
Tabitha: Young lady! You have nothing to laugh about, you started this whole mess. Now, how are we gonna deal with you?
Tabitha: I have an idea.
Tabitha: What's that?
Tabitha: How about a little love and understanding?
Tabitha: Why is it that I feel like the fox thats been cornered by the chicken!?
[After Tabitha has changed her classmate into a butterfly].
Tabitha: Is this one of those things that's called a problem?
Samantha: Not exactly, sweetheart. This is one of those things that's called a catastrophe.
Tabitha: Is this one of those things that's called a problem?
Samantha: Not exactly, sweetheart. This is one of those things that's called a catastrophe.
[After witnessing Samantha and Darrin walking along while hugging each other closely (to prevent Samantha from being lifted into the air!)]
Mr. Prescott: That's a pretty squirrely couple
Mrs. Prescott: It's called love, Wilbur.
Mr. Prescott: Why's he holding her like that?
Mrs. Prescott: That is also called love, Wilbur.
Mr. Prescott: He's gonna help her dress?
Mrs. Prescott: Love, Wilbur!
Mr. Prescott: Sick, Selma.
Mr. Prescott: That's a pretty squirrely couple
Mrs. Prescott: It's called love, Wilbur.
Mr. Prescott: Why's he holding her like that?
Mrs. Prescott: That is also called love, Wilbur.
Mr. Prescott: He's gonna help her dress?
Mrs. Prescott: Love, Wilbur!
Mr. Prescott: Sick, Selma.
[Darrin is phoning the betting company to place a bet on a horse.]
Darrin: Hello. I'd like to place a bet. My account number is A231. My codename is 'Dog'.
Samantha: And so's your horse.
Darrin: Hello. I'd like to place a bet. My account number is A231. My codename is 'Dog'.
Samantha: And so's your horse.
[Darrin is trying to apologize to Samantha, for accusing her of using witchcraft to win a slogan competition].
Darrin: The point is, your slogan was rejected, it was lousy. Which proves it was your imagination!
Darrin: The point is, your slogan was rejected, it was lousy. Which proves it was your imagination!
[Endora 'pops' in while Darrin has a day off from work.]
Samantha: Mother, Darrin's off today.
Endora: I think you're just noticing it for the first time.
Samantha: Mother, Darrin's off today.
Endora: I think you're just noticing it for the first time.
[Explaining why Adam has not shown any signs of being a warlock.]
Maurice: Let me tell you what I think the problem is. This child has been brought up in an atmosphere that has inhibited the growth of his witchcraft.
Endora: You see, Samantha's husband - that mortal lamebrain - absolutely forbids the use of witchcraft in this house.
Witches Council Representative #1: No.
Endora: Yes.
Witches Council Representative #2: No!
Endora: Yes!
Witches Council Representative #1: No!!!
Endora: Why do you keep saying 'No' when I keep saying 'Yes'!!!
Maurice: Let me tell you what I think the problem is. This child has been brought up in an atmosphere that has inhibited the growth of his witchcraft.
Endora: You see, Samantha's husband - that mortal lamebrain - absolutely forbids the use of witchcraft in this house.
Witches Council Representative #1: No.
Endora: Yes.
Witches Council Representative #2: No!
Endora: Yes!
Witches Council Representative #1: No!!!
Endora: Why do you keep saying 'No' when I keep saying 'Yes'!!!
[Joking about Samantha's unrisen Angel Food Cake]
Uncle Arthur: When you cast your spell, you probably faced west when you should of faced 'yeast'.
Uncle Arthur: When you cast your spell, you probably faced west when you should of faced 'yeast'.
[Larry doesn't understand what Louise is getting at!]
Larry Tate: Do me a favour, call Berlitz and get me a translator
Larry Tate: Do me a favour, call Berlitz and get me a translator
[Larry explaining why he didn't pick his wife for his volleyball team].
Larry Tate: Have you ever seen Louise play volleyball? Her best shot is ducking.
Larry Tate: Have you ever seen Louise play volleyball? Her best shot is ducking.
[Maurice dismisses his driver (named Yorick), who coughs before disappearing.]
Maurice: Alas, poor Yorick. He isn't well.
Maurice: Alas, poor Yorick. He isn't well.
[Maurice is greeting Samantha.]
Maurice: She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes.
Samantha: Aw, thank you, Daddy. You and Byron say the cutest things.
Maurice: She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes.
Samantha: Aw, thank you, Daddy. You and Byron say the cutest things.
[Maurice is greeting Tabitha.]
Tabitha: Hello, Grandpapa.
Maurice: Tabitha! How is my little princess?
Tabitha: Fine. I can always tell your voice, Grandpapa.
Maurice: Yes, people say it has a unique quality.
Tabitha: And it's so loud, too.
Tabitha: Hello, Grandpapa.
Maurice: Tabitha! How is my little princess?
Tabitha: Fine. I can always tell your voice, Grandpapa.
Maurice: Yes, people say it has a unique quality.
Tabitha: And it's so loud, too.