Bewitched quotes
53 total quotes[Endora 'pops' in while Darrin has a day off from work.]
Samantha: Mother, Darrin's off today.
Endora: I think you're just noticing it for the first time.
Samantha: Mother, Darrin's off today.
Endora: I think you're just noticing it for the first time.
[Samantha is trying to convince a cow (who she believes to be Aunt Clara) to go to the kitchen. It won't budge.]
Samantha: Just because you chose to be a cow doesn't mean you have to be a stupid one.
Samantha: Just because you chose to be a cow doesn't mean you have to be a stupid one.
Samantha: You see, everything turns out for the best.
Darrin: Yeah, when you're around to give everything a big assist, it does.
Darrin: Yeah, when you're around to give everything a big assist, it does.
[Samantha is trying to hide a witches court meeting (attended by Endora, Clara, Enchantra and Hagatha) from Darrin in the other room.]
Darrin: I know why you don't want to let me in there.
Samantha: You do?
Darrin: Mm-hm. I finally figured it out. Ladies club, right?
Samantha: Sort of.
Darrin: Is it the committee for the bazaar?
Samantha: Oh, I'd certainly call them a bizarre committee.
Darrin: I know why you don't want to let me in there.
Samantha: You do?
Darrin: Mm-hm. I finally figured it out. Ladies club, right?
Samantha: Sort of.
Darrin: Is it the committee for the bazaar?
Samantha: Oh, I'd certainly call them a bizarre committee.
Samantha: Darrin, I'm leaving you.
Darrin: Sam!
Samantha: I'm going home to mother.
Darrin: What do you mean "going home to mother"? Your mother's always here.
Darrin: Sam!
Samantha: I'm going home to mother.
Darrin: What do you mean "going home to mother"? Your mother's always here.
[Referring to Darrin's beautiful, but snobby, client.]
Samantha: Personally, I think she should see a plastic surgeon.
Darrin: What for?
Samantha: To have her nose lowered.
Samantha: Personally, I think she should see a plastic surgeon.
Darrin: What for?
Samantha: To have her nose lowered.
[After losing to Charlie all day.]
Darrin: Believe me honey, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I finally beat Charlie at something.
Samantha: You said you lost by 12 strokes.
Darrin: 11.
Samantha: Oh, pardon me.
Darrin: But we flipped a coin to see who'd tip the caddy and I won. It cost me ten bucks, but I won.
Darrin: Believe me honey, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I finally beat Charlie at something.
Samantha: You said you lost by 12 strokes.
Darrin: 11.
Samantha: Oh, pardon me.
Darrin: But we flipped a coin to see who'd tip the caddy and I won. It cost me ten bucks, but I won.
Samantha: When the earth turns once around the sun, let the crone go forth til the day is done. Another's form she'll take and her form leave, from 6 in the morn til 6 in the eve. And in this guise if she can secure, a willing kiss from a mortal pure. To her will pass the mortal's youth, to him will pass her age forsooth. [Legend of the Crone of Cawdor]
Season 4
Season 4
Darrin: A satisfactory explanation?! You're kidding!
Samantha: It's not for me. I trust you implicitly, in spite of my doubts. Mother will not take off that spell until you explain.
Darrin: Suppose you explain to me what gives your mother the right to bug my telephone calls.
Samantha: Darrin, how can I explain my mother?
Darrin (realizing Samantha's point): That's true.
Season 5
Samantha: It's not for me. I trust you implicitly, in spite of my doubts. Mother will not take off that spell until you explain.
Darrin: Suppose you explain to me what gives your mother the right to bug my telephone calls.
Samantha: Darrin, how can I explain my mother?
Darrin (realizing Samantha's point): That's true.
Season 5
Samantha: Happy sweetheart?
Darrin: Let's see. I've got a beautiful wife. Lovely daughter. Comfortable home. Good job. I guess I'm reasonably happy.
Samantha: Why only 'reasonably'?
Darrin: I would be ecstatically happy if you were an orphan!
Samantha: Another remark like that and I'll be a widow.
Darrin: Let's see. I've got a beautiful wife. Lovely daughter. Comfortable home. Good job. I guess I'm reasonably happy.
Samantha: Why only 'reasonably'?
Darrin: I would be ecstatically happy if you were an orphan!
Samantha: Another remark like that and I'll be a widow.
Samantha: I thought you and mother were getting along rather well lately. You were almost on speaking terms.
Darrin: Let's hope it stays 'almost'.
Darrin: Let's hope it stays 'almost'.
Samantha: Now, mother. I'm sorry to have to ask you to do this, but repeat after me ... Spiders that crawl, bats that fly, silence my tongue if I'm telling a lie.
[Samantha is trying to figure out who has taken Darrin.]
Maurice: Uncle Arthur! That's it! Uncle Arthur is using Darrin for one of his practical jokes.
Endora: Well, why would he do a thing like that? Derwood is already a practical joke.
Maurice: Uncle Arthur! That's it! Uncle Arthur is using Darrin for one of his practical jokes.
Endora: Well, why would he do a thing like that? Derwood is already a practical joke.
[After Darrin yells out loud.]
Endora: I've not only lost a daughter, I've gained a bullhorn.
Endora: I've not only lost a daughter, I've gained a bullhorn.