Steve: Where you going?
Kelly: To bed.
Steve: Ok, if you insist, I'll join you.

Steve: Yo, Sam. Sam!
Scott: Me?
Steve: Come here.
Scott: I'm Scott.
Steve: Whatever. What's going on with him and MC Hammer?
Scott: David wants him to play at the prom.
Steve: MC Hammer's not gonna play at any school dance.
Scott: You know that, and I know that, and MC Hammer knows that. But unfortunately, somebody forgot to tell David.

Steve: You got a nose job!
Kelly: Yeah, I did.
Steve: It looks...looks good.
Kelly: Big improvement, huh?
Steve: Well yeah, they took about a foot off.
Kelly: Now I know why I broke up with you.

Steve: You know what?
Andrea: Hmm?
Steve: You're pretty cute without your glasses on.
Andrea: [laughs] God! Is that supposed to be some kind of compliment?
Steve: No. This is.
[Steve kisses Andrea.]

Surfer Dude: Oh, what happened to you man?
Bobby: Nothing. I'm just real lazy.

Teacher: Consent forms, people. I need them. You need them. They're required.
Scott: My mom's never gonna sign that form
David: Why not?
Scott: She -- She thinks I'll be getting the wrong kind of message at school.
David: Well what kind of message are you getting at home? Your mom has six kids.

Tuesday: My name's Tuesday.
David: Tuesday? My favorite day of the week.

[Acting out a scene in their acting class.]
Andrea: I'm better for her than you are.
Brenda: The hell you are!
[Brenda slaps Andrea. Andrea turns her head and looks like she is about to cry. They both walk out into the hallway.]
Andrea: Brenda...Brenda! That is not how we rehearsed the slap!
Brenda: Oh no?
Andrea: You know damn well it wasn't.
Brenda: Well I guess I just got too involved in my character.
Andrea: That is so lame. There was something else behind that slap and you know it!
Brenda: Sense memory work?
Andrea: Oh. And what is that memory based on?
Brenda: Oh, quick learner. I think you know, Teacher's Pet!
Andrea: This is perfect. I confide in you, share my feelings. Something I never do, and you completely turn on me!
Brenda: Yeah, well who confided in who first?
Andrea: I said I was sorry, Brenda. I had no idea that he was interested in me as anything more than a pupil with stage fright!
Brenda: Yeah well now we know differently, don't we?
Andrea: Look, Brenda. You can't steal something from someone that they don't have in the first place!
Brenda: You know, all school year I listened to you rattling on and on about your feelings for my brother.
Andrea: This has nothing to do with Brandon.
Brenda: You're right. it has to do with you and me.
Andrea: Not anymore.

[After Brenda gets into a fender bender]
Brenda: Oh my God. Oh my God, tell me this isn't happening.
David: This isn't happening.

[Brenda walks into the Peach Pit dressed up as singing waitress Laverne]
Brenda: Sir! Welcome! I'm Laverne, charmed I'm sure.
Nat: I don't get it. What is it, Halloween?
Brenda: Hey don't you worry, pops. You'll get no trick-or-treats with this little lady. I'm strictly a class act. A one hundred percent, U.S. certified, hostess with the mostest!
[Sal the Customer laughs]
Brenda: See, here's a gentleman who appreciates fine beauty.
Nat: He's a customer who needs an order taken.
Brenda: Why, certainly. Would you like to hear today's specials?
Nat: We don't have any specials!
Brenda: The special pasta today is spaghetti. It has meatballs on it, with a red sauce, um, I think it's tomato....And for dessert we have pie. We have peach pie, cherry pie, apple pie, pecan pie, lemon pie, cream pie...honey pie. But if you want pizza pie, you gotta go across the street. Ask for Grito, he'll take care of ya. So what will it be?
Sal the Customer: Anything you want, sweetheart!
Brenda: You look like...meatloaf and mashed potatoes, am I wrong?
Sal the Customer: Bring it on!
Brenda: Only if you promise to save room for dessert! Ok, we got a taker for squished taters and a beefy roll.
Nat: We what?
Brenda: Mashed potatoes and meatloaf. Get with the lingo, pops.
Nat: Brenda, you're too much.
Brenda: It's Laverne...thank you!

[Discussing what they will say to Color Me Badd.]
Donna: Well, I'm gonna ask them what their favorite color is.
Kelly: Their favorite color is badd, of course!

[During police interrogation]
Donna: I uh...I had a cigar. I threw up.

[Girls in the hall cluster together whispering about Brandon]
Steve: Forget the agent, what you need is a bodyguard.
Brandon: Is this weird, or what? They won't stampede, will they?
Dylan: No, only if they smell fear.

[Phone rings]
Brenda: Oh, if that's Kiefer Sutherland, tell him that I'm a little busy.
Brandon: [answering phone] Hello, Kiefer?

[Steve comes in wearing an eye patch.]
Kelly: Look, it's Captain Hook!
Steve: Isn't that what we used to call you before you got your nose job?