Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes



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Wayne Jarvis: I use one adjective to describe myself, what is it?
Michael: Professional.
Wayne Jarvis: [shakes head and walks out]

Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? [angrily] Michael!
Wife of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. [happily] You're in love with me -- me!
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother.
Wife of Gob: No!

Speaking of the surprise party for Lucille.
Maeby: We (George Michael and I) don't have to go, do we?
Michael: This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.

[at the prison]
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.

[From the extended pilot]
GOB: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money. [GOB notices children in earshot] ...Or cocaine!