Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesTobias:I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot your wife is dead! [beat] I'm sorry, that was 100% inappropriate and I do apologize profusely. I'm, oh...
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage can.
Michael: Guy's a pro
Michael: Guy's a pro
Wayne Jarvis: I use one adjective to describe myself, what is it?
Michael: Professional.
Wayne Jarvis: [shakes head and walks out]
Michael: Professional.
Wayne Jarvis: [shakes head and walks out]
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? [angrily] Michael!
Wife of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. [happily] You're in love with me -- me!
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother.
Wife of Gob: No!
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? [angrily] Michael!
Wife of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. [happily] You're in love with me -- me!
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother.
Wife of Gob: No!
Speaking of the surprise party for Lucille.
Maeby: We (George Michael and I) don't have to go, do we?
Michael: This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
Maeby: We (George Michael and I) don't have to go, do we?
Michael: This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
[at the prison]
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.
[During a work-out montage with Michael]
Steve Holt: Don't ask "can I?," ask "I can!"
Steve Holt: You can control your bladder when you're dead!
Steve Holt: No blood, no oil!
Steve Holt: There's no "I" in "win"!
Steve Holt: Don't ask "can I?," ask "I can!"
Steve Holt: You can control your bladder when you're dead!
Steve Holt: No blood, no oil!
Steve Holt: There's no "I" in "win"!
[From the extended pilot]
GOB: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money. [GOB notices children in earshot] ...Or cocaine!
GOB: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money. [GOB notices children in earshot] ...Or cocaine!
[Gob is using a "My name is Judge" magazine insert inside his ventriloquist dummy]
Gob: They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend?", and he'll say...
Franklin/Judge: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin/Judge: My name is...
Gob: That's a silly name!
Michael: That's enough!
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge. My name...
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly!
Franklin/Judge: ...Is...
Gob: Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?
Michael: Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit.
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge.
Gob: He's right, his name is Judge now.
Gob: They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend?", and he'll say...
Franklin/Judge: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin/Judge: My name is...
Gob: That's a silly name!
Michael: That's enough!
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge. My name...
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly!
Franklin/Judge: ...Is...
Gob: Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?
Michael: Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit.
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge.
Gob: He's right, his name is Judge now.
[Michael has just revealed that he knows Rita is mentally challenged]
Rita: You found out.
Michael: Took me long enough.
Rita: Maybe you're not smart, either! I didn't know until they told me.
Rita: You found out.
Michael: Took me long enough.
Rita: Maybe you're not smart, either! I didn't know until they told me.