Arrested Development quotes
177 total quotesPrison warden: You really think you can break out of my prison?
G.O.B: You won't even know I was here.
Narrator: The warden was intrigued-- Less about the stunt, and more about the prison beatings this brash magician was sure to receive.
G.O.B: You won't even know I was here.
Narrator: The warden was intrigued-- Less about the stunt, and more about the prison beatings this brash magician was sure to receive.
Richard Shaw: I'm sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Road.
Rita: Rita corny, Michael.
Narrator: So Michael used a line that was just as corny.
Michael: You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married.
Narrator: So Michael used a line that was just as corny.
Michael: You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married.
Rollo: If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car.
Michael: Which brother?
Rollo: Gob.
[Michael leaves]
Michael: Which brother?
Rollo: Gob.
[Michael leaves]
Sitwell: The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying?
Gob: That's great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying?
Tobias: [after Michael asks Tobias to buy a tape recorder to record himself speaking] You know, Michael, perhaps I should buy you that tape recorder. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"?
Michael: Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi.
Tobias: And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
Michael: Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi.
Tobias: And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.
Tobias: Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. [imitating John Wayne] I'm not gonna cry about my Pa. I'm gonna build an airport. Put my name on it. [speaking normally] Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?
Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors, maybe. Or better yet, hot sea m--
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm. Me too.
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm. Me too.
Tobias: I'm afraid that this offer comes off the table at midnight.
Michael: That may be the worst bluff I've ever heard.
Narrator: Even the members of Gobias industries agreed on that one.
Michael: That may be the worst bluff I've ever heard.
Narrator: Even the members of Gobias industries agreed on that one.
Tobias: My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did.
Michael: You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
Tobias: I haven't been the perfect husband -- yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.
Michael: You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
Tobias: I haven't been the perfect husband -- yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero.
Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.
Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Tobias: Butterscotch! Want a lick?
Michael: Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Tobias: Butterscotch! Want a lick?
Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised... a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed but free to explore extramarital encounters.
Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?
Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.
Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?
Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us.
Tobias: You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.