Angel quotes

717 total quotes


Spike: Oh, Eve's stuck in the elevator.
Gunn: So tell Maintenance. [runs off]
Spike: Right. Well where the bloody hell is Maintenan--? [beat] Oh to be honest, I don't even care. [walks away]

Spike: Sneaky bastards, the SS. Don't ever go to a free virgin blood party. Turns out, it's probably a trap.
Angel: You were captured at a free virgin blood party?
Spike: I know. Who would've thought.

Spike: There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.

Spike: You pissed in the big man's chair? That's fantastic!
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What? The Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.

Spike: You're right. I do deserve to go to Hell. But not today. [he punches Pavayne]
Pavayne: You dare!
Spike: Quite a bit, mate. Reality bends to desire. That was it, right? That's why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do was want it bad enough. [his clothes rematerialize] And guess what I want to do now, you prissy son of a bitch!

Spike: [re: Wesley] We got a history, him and me.
Fred: What?
Spike: It was a long time ago. He was a young Watcher, fresh out of the academy, when we crossed paths. It was a, what-you-call, battle of wills...and blood was spilled. Vendettas were sworn. It was a whole--
Fred: My God...you're so full of crap.
Spike: Yeah. OK.

The Beast: We could rule this world. Why do you oppose me?
Angel: Rain of fire. Blocking out the sun. And you just kinda piss me off.

The Groosalugg: Hail to you potential client!

The Master: [talking about Angelus] Angelus? The Latinate for "Angel". It's marvelous!
Darla: His name would already be a legend in his home village - had he left anyone alive there to tell the tale.
The Master: [caressing Darla's hand] Ah, you had a nice trip. I'm so glad.
Darla: On the way back we cut a bloody swath through South Wales and northern England. He was magnificent.
Angelus: Hmm, Yorkshire men - tough as leather. [The Master and Angelus both laugh at that remark] So, Darla here tells me you're some sort of Master.
Darla: The Master. He commands our order."
The Master: The order of Aurelius. We are the select - the elite.
[Angelus folds his arms and surveys their surroundings.]
Angelus: And you live in the sewers, do you?
[The Master gives Darla's hand a pat and stands up.]
The Master: We live below, giving tribute to the old ones. Awaiting that promised day when we will arise -A rise! - and lay waste to the world above us.
[The Master laughs.]
Angelus: Why'd you want to do that?
The Master: Huh?
Angelus: Well, I mean, have you been above lately? It's quite nice. Me - I could never live in a rat infested stink hole - like this, if you'll pardon me for saying so. I got to have meself a proper bed or I'm a terror. [To Darla] Isn't that right love?
Darla: He's young.
Angelus: And this one, down in the goose feathers, and the finest silks and linens and a view... [Angelus comes around to Darla] ...she's always got to have the view... [leans in close to her] ...don't you, my lamb?.
Darla: We fed very recently. The blood is still hot in his veins.
Angelus: You noticed that, did you?
The Master: We stalk the surface to feed and grow our ranks. We do not live amongst the human pestilence!
Angelus: I'll be honest, you really couldn't with that face, now could you?
Darla: Angelus!
[Angelus laughs and drops into the Masters chair, left leg dangling over one of the armrests and takes a bit of snuff.]
Angelus: It's not stuck like that now is it?
[The Master leans in on him with a growl.]
Darla: The Master has grown past the curse of human features.
Angelus: I'm not gonna get a bat-nose like that, huh? Am I?
The Master: Very few vampires are cunning enough to have lived as long as I have - which you've now... [The Master grabs Angelus by the front of his coat and throws him across the room) ...demonstrated.
[Darla flinches as Angelus slides down the wall. Laughing, he gets back up, and keeps talking to Darla as if the Master wasn't even there.]
Angelus: Naples, you and me Darla. What do you say?
[The Master hits him with a hard right throwing him back against the wall.]
Darla: Angelus...
[Angelus just pushes himself off the wall and goes on as if nothing had happened]
Angelus: This is no place for you - bound to the likes of him.
The Master: You should show... [Master hits Angelus over the head, dropping him to the ground] ...the proper respect.
[Angelus, now on all fours and breathing hard, still ignores the Master and talks only to Darla.]
Angelus: You belong by my side, out in the world, feeding as we like,taking what we need. I'll give you that view you crave, darling. I'll give you everything.
[The Master knocks Angelus over onto his back. Angelus coughs, then laughs again. Lifts his head to look at Darla.]
Angelus: [to Darla] Tell the truth - whose face do you want to look at for eternity? His, or mine?
The Master: You idiot. I made her.
[To the Master's shock, Darla goes to Angelus and helps her lover to his feet.]
The Master: You're leaving with the stallion, aren't you?
[One of the Master's minions tries to block their path, but the Master waves them off and lets the couple leave the hall.]
The Master: No. Let them go. He won't last. I give it a century, tops.

Vampire: How do you know I won't just kill you here, drain you and leave your body?
[Darla puts her purse down on the hood of a car and gives him a hard kiss, then steps back. Vampire's eyes popped open wide.]
Darla: I'll take my chances.
Vampire: I-I-I should probably mention that I... I'm not real clear on how this thing works.
Darla: What?
Vampire: Well, ah, I never actually did it, ah, to anybody before and I was kind of out when it happened to me.
Darla: I'll walk you through it. Drink. When you feel my heart start to slow stop.
[Vampire leans in while Darla closes her eyes. He's about to sink his fangs into her neck when he dissolves into a cloud of dust revealing Angel.]

Vampire: Just drop the cliche serial killer crap and stake me already! Please!
Mantis Demon: I tear your guts all inside out. I stitch your guts every all over. Why don't you go dead?
Vampire: Why don't you go f-- [the demon attacks him] Aah! Aah!

Waitress: Compliments of the lady.
[Gestures to a lady at the bar who raises her glass toward Angelus, wholooks at the lady at the bar, then back to his friends .]
Angelus: Yeah, as if. Anyway, I couldn't believe how easy it was luring the slayer into my little welcome home from prison party.
Vampire1: Wish I could have been there when she saw the Beast.
Angelus: The guy wasn't gonna win any personality contests, but he put on a good show. Slapped her around real nice.
Vampire2: Like a little bunny?
Angelus: Bloody, whimpering bunny. Once she was tenderized, I gave Rocko the shaft. Never saw it coming, dumbass.
Demon: Yeah, soul-boy. Nice job, bringing the sun back.
[Angelus overhears the demon at the bar. He smirks and the other vampires at the table are frozen in fear. Angelus stands and goes up to the demon. The demon turns to look at Angelus.]
Demon: Oh, hey, Angelus. Buy you a warm one?
Angelus: Maybe after.
Demon: After what?
Angelus: After I rip out your windpipe so it stops making that annoying talky sound.
Demon: Wait! I have a condition. Whoop! Goh, boy! Dirty bitch! Tourettes. You've heard of it, right?
Angelus: Yeah, causes uncontrollable impulses...like yanking out throats.
[Squeezes on the demon's throat.]
Demon: Oh! oh oh...
[Suddenly Angelus hears a mysterious imposing, echoy voice.]
Beastmaster: Hello, Angelus. It's time we had that talk.

Wesley: (about Angel making out with someone on his desk) This isn't like him.
Cordelia: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?
Fred: Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia: You're right. This isn't like him.

Wesley: (hearing screams) What's that?
Lilah: Oh, it's the fat lady singing.

Wesley: [about Angel] He's realized Nina has feelings for him.
Fred: Well, took long enough.
Wesley: He can be rather dense.
Fred: Um... By the way, my car is in the shop again and I was thinking--
Wesley: Of course. [picks up the phone]
Fred: Maybe, you and I, we could--
Wesley: [holds up his hand to silence her] Yes, Ms. Burkle needs a driver to take her home tonight. That's right: 511 Windward Circle.