Mr. Burkle: And to think, we were wondering when to call the police on a bunch of superheroes.
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Gunn: More like a blood-sucking fiend.
Mr. Burkle: Well frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.
Angel: Well, I wouldn't have had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.
Mr. Burkle: Well, I'll tell you. I haven't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63 - -
Angel and Mr. Burkle: Bob Hope Desert Classic (laugh together like old friends)

Nathan: These re-evaluations are always a bit of a mixed blessing. Sad as we lose one of our own, but also hopeful as we turn towards the future and promote one of our own. Lilah, you have made a lot of great contributions and I know you have tried your very, very best...
Lilah: No! [she scrabbles for her purse, but Lindsey puts his hands over hers]
Lindsey: Lilah. Please. [she stops and looks at him] They chose me. I'm clearly the guy.
Nathan: Yes, you are.
Lindsey: You could've had it. But you didn't have what it takes...
[Lindsey raises his right hand up and Lilah jumps, letting out a little scream as he wriggles his fingers]
Lindsey: ...an evil hand. I mean, come on. Who here does, huh? Leon doesn't. Charlie doesn't. You do know you gave me an evil hand, right? I've been writing "kill, kill, kill" on everything. It's crazy. It's crazy! Anything could happen!
Nathan: [signaling security guard] Allen?
Lindsey: Allen, how are you? [punches him and steals his gun] Uh-oh! [shoots Allen in the foot] Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop it, evil hand, stop it! I just can't control my evil hand. Nathan, I'm so proud that you chose me. [rubs a co-worker's hair] Charlie! If I'd been in your shoes, I would've chosen Lilah. Let me tell you why. Do you have any idea of the hours this chick has logged in? Huh? The files she has on you guys? Deep stuff. Ronnie, your stock manipulations; Nathan's little offshore accounts. Can you imagine if something were to happen to this girl, and those files got back to the Senior Partners? They'd eat you alive! She's been working overtime, boys. She's everything you ever dreamed of. Lilah is your guy. Me, I'm unreliable; I've got these evil hand issues. And I'm bored with this crap. And besides, I'm leaving, so if you wanna chase me, be my guest. But remember- [holds up his hand] evil. Good luck. [gooses Lilah passing her and holds up his hand] Evil!

Nina: How would you--you're not a monster, too, are you?
Fred: Nope. Standard-issue science nerd. I did spend five years in a demon dimension...till Angel saved me.
Nina: Guess he saves a lot of girls, huh?
Fred: Girls, guys...puppies. He's pretty much an equal-opportunity saver.

Nina: Plane tickets? I don't believe it. We're getting away? This is.. But thought you didn't have enough time to... Ahm, wait! There are three tickets here. We taking a chaperone? [looks closer at the tickets] My sister and Amanda?
Angel: I need you to be out of here.
Nina: It's typical. You sleep with a guy and he sends your entire family out of the country. No, wait. That's actually not that typical at all. You couldn't just.. not call?

Nina: You should get away. Vacation? You know that word? Go to Cabo, drink margaritas, midnight skinny-dipping, making love on the beach... did you catch how I subtly included myself in your little vacation package?
Angel: Nina...
Nina: Too pushy, too needy, I never even said it. You should make love on the beach all by yourself.

Preston: I had this prepared. Confidential list. Peepers only. I thought you might like to take a gander at our roster. Just a run down of some of the talent we represent here.
Lorne: Uh, no. No. No. No. I don't think you have to tell me what you represent here, young man. Evil. Pure evil in the... (stunned as he looks at the list) Huh. Which is also apparently everyone I've always wanted to meet. (laughs)

Puppet Angel: [after beating Spike, to the bemused staff] Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do. [walking back to his office] Harmony, get my call list.
Harmony: Um...
Puppet Angel: Spike needs a car.
Spike: [to Harmony] You heard the puppet.

Puppet Angel: What are you people looking at? Well?!
Spike: They're looking at the wee little puppet man.

Rebecca: A season and a half off the air and suddenly I'm nobody again.
Angel: [holding up some tabloids] Not according to these.
Rebecca: According to those, I've slept with Ernest Borgnine and I'm bulimic.
Angel: I hear Borgnine's a very skilled lover.

Rebecca: Angel?
Angelus: Oh, what's the matter? Look a little nervous.
Rebecca: You, you're...
Angelus: Free! [Picks up his drink and drains it.] You freed me. Mmm. [Sticks a finger in the glass and licks the last of it off his finger.] Oh, God. I love this stuff! Wow! [Breaks the glass on a ceiling beam.] Remind me to get the name of your dealer before I kill you.
Rebecca: Kill me?
[Angel twirls the broken glass in his hand.]
Angelus: In all my years, I've never killed a famous person before. But with no witnesses who's gonna believe me? Maybe we can take a picture. I know! We do it like we did back in the day. I'll keep your head on a stick as proof.
Rebecca: My head on a stick?
Angelus: Well okay... [throws the glass over his shoulder and listens to it break]... pike.
Rebecca: You're just trying to scare me.
Angelus: Is it working?
Rebecca: No.
[Angelus tosses her across the room and she lands on the stairs to the sewer entrance.]
Angelus: How about now?
Rebecca: You're crazy.
Angelus: Oh, no. I'm a vampire. Boy, you know, you could stand to drop a few pounds. Hey, I help you with that.
Rebecca: This isn't you.
Angelus: They always mistake me for the character I play. They never see the real me!
Rebecca: I'm... I just wanted to...
Angelus: Be like me? Believe me, I'm one happy fellow. Tell you what, I'll torture you for a few unbelievably long hours and then you can tell me if this is the lifestyle for you. It's up to you.

Russell: We do things a certain way in LA. I keep my name out of the paper and I don't make waves. And in return I can do anything I want.
[Angel puts his foot on Russell's chair and whispers]
Angel:Can you fly? (proceeds to kick Russell out the window. Russell becomes dust. Angel turns and walks away, slipping Lindsey's business card in Lindsey's pocket) Guess not.

Sahjahn: [To Connor] You know...I went through a lot of trouble to get rid of you. What a colossal waste of time that turned out to be.
[Kicks Connor in the ribs, sending him flying across the room. Cuts back to Angel and Vail and later back to the fight. Sahjahn grabs Connor by the lapels and lifts him into the air before slamming him on the table. Connor groans.]
Sahjahn: These prophecies are turning out to be pretty overrated. I gotta tell you, kid, you're making a good case for the whole concept of free will.

Sahjahn: Been a while since we've seen each other. How'd Quor-Toth work out for you, anyway?
Connor: Uh...worked out great. Thanks for asking.
Sahjahn: You know, I've had a long time to plan for this moment. I figured you'd be a lot more... intimidating.
Connor: Yeah. Well... I figured I was going to Tony Roma's with my folks tonight, but... I'm here. Learn to cope.
Sahjahn: I'll work on it.
[Pulls a faster than light punch, knocking Connor to the ground.]

Sahjhan: (after Fred hits him with a torch) Do I look like I need more skin problems?

Sahjhan: Do it! Now's your chance. Do it! Finish it while you still can! You can't just let him walk away! Not now! Not after what you swore to me!
[Holtz watches as Fred and Angel get into the car with the newborn.]
Holtz: I swore that I would show no mercy. [Watches Angel's car drive away.] And I won't.