American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesTom: Hey, Stanny Boy! Frantastic! Get up here, the view is amazing!
Stan: Did you hear that? They gave us nicknames! The only nickname I ever got was in eighth grade. They called me Stan Frank because I was always hiding and writing in my diary.
Stan: Did you hear that? They gave us nicknames! The only nickname I ever got was in eighth grade. They called me Stan Frank because I was always hiding and writing in my diary.
(Hayley and Jeff knock Roger into the pool and escape on a helicopter rope ladder)
Roger (as he climbs out of the pool; to Hayley and Jeff): Are you crazy pushing me in the pool?! I have forty hits of ecstacy in my pocket! (to the kids in the pool): Buckle up, kids. (to the parents at poolside): They're gonna have to go to the hospital.
Roger (as he climbs out of the pool; to Hayley and Jeff): Are you crazy pushing me in the pool?! I have forty hits of ecstacy in my pocket! (to the kids in the pool): Buckle up, kids. (to the parents at poolside): They're gonna have to go to the hospital.
(Roger as Jenny Fromdabloc is crying as she reads the inscription on the stress ball)
Roger/Jenny: "Sons of Tucson: New on FOX"? When was this on? I watch FOX all the time. I never saw this!
Roger/Jenny: "Sons of Tucson: New on FOX"? When was this on? I watch FOX all the time. I never saw this!
(Roger finds his way to Thailand and talks to a passing beach waiter)
Roger: I'll have three twelve-year-old boys, no MSG.
Roger: I'll have three twelve-year-old boys, no MSG.
(Roger is staying in the locker room of a YMCA)
Francine: I got your message that you were staying here? Roger, this YMCA stopped renting out rooms, like, 30 years ago.
Roger: What? I just put up all my pictures. (shows Francine photos of him dressed as a pigtailed, redheaded girl riding and playing with a horse)
Francine: Oh, I wish you and Stan could just patch things up.
Roger: It's too late. (sits on the locker room bench next to a man facing his locker and wearing a towel): I've been replaced! (sobs)
(The man next to him turns around and Roger uses the corner of his towel to wipe his tears. Roger gets a look at the man's crotch)
Roger (suggestively): Good for you.
Francine: I got your message that you were staying here? Roger, this YMCA stopped renting out rooms, like, 30 years ago.
Roger: What? I just put up all my pictures. (shows Francine photos of him dressed as a pigtailed, redheaded girl riding and playing with a horse)
Francine: Oh, I wish you and Stan could just patch things up.
Roger: It's too late. (sits on the locker room bench next to a man facing his locker and wearing a towel): I've been replaced! (sobs)
(The man next to him turns around and Roger uses the corner of his towel to wipe his tears. Roger gets a look at the man's crotch)
Roger (suggestively): Good for you.
[Francine pulls up]
Francine: Sorry things didn't work out with your new roommate, Roger.
Roger: I tell you, it's a cruel, cruel world out here. Did you know I saw a man beat down another man today for a sandwich? A sandwich, Francine. [shows a sub] This sandwich. [eats it] I wish I could just come home.
Francine: So come home. We want you there.
Roger: Stan doesn't. As far as he's concerned, the only reason I was living there was the life debt he owed me. And now it's repayed.
Francine: Forget about the life debt. Stan's too proud to admit he misses you, but I know he does. Hey! What if you offered to pay rent? Then Stan would have a perfect excuse to take you back.
Roger: You know, that could actually work. I don't mind paying a little rent. All right, I'm coming home! [throws the sub at a pedestrian] Hi, kids.
(Roger meets Andy Dick)
Francine: Sorry things didn't work out with your new roommate, Roger.
Roger: I tell you, it's a cruel, cruel world out here. Did you know I saw a man beat down another man today for a sandwich? A sandwich, Francine. [shows a sub] This sandwich. [eats it] I wish I could just come home.
Francine: So come home. We want you there.
Roger: Stan doesn't. As far as he's concerned, the only reason I was living there was the life debt he owed me. And now it's repayed.
Francine: Forget about the life debt. Stan's too proud to admit he misses you, but I know he does. Hey! What if you offered to pay rent? Then Stan would have a perfect excuse to take you back.
Roger: You know, that could actually work. I don't mind paying a little rent. All right, I'm coming home! [throws the sub at a pedestrian] Hi, kids.
(Roger meets Andy Dick)
[Stan and Roger arrive at the Stuffington Academy]
Stan: Here we are, Stuffington Academy. I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement on this. Have a good day at school, "son".
Roger: I'm already having a good day 'cause you called me son. Now give me a kiss. Kiss me on the lips, "Dad". I want that kind of relationship with you. [opens the door] You thought about it I saw it. [closes the door]
Stan: Here we are, Stuffington Academy. I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement on this. Have a good day at school, "son".
Roger: I'm already having a good day 'cause you called me son. Now give me a kiss. Kiss me on the lips, "Dad". I want that kind of relationship with you. [opens the door] You thought about it I saw it. [closes the door]
[Steve looks back to see a painting. he walks towards it]
Héctor Elizondo: Bewitching, isn't she?
Steve: I know you. Weren't you the concierge in Pretty Woman?
Héctor Elizondo: Yes. I'm Héctor Elizondo. I play the concierge in over 400 movies and TV pilots. Acting pays the bills so I can pursue my true passion. Conciergeing.
Héctor Elizondo: Bewitching, isn't she?
Steve: I know you. Weren't you the concierge in Pretty Woman?
Héctor Elizondo: Yes. I'm Héctor Elizondo. I play the concierge in over 400 movies and TV pilots. Acting pays the bills so I can pursue my true passion. Conciergeing.