American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesKlaus: [after Francine's scream shatters his bowl] Your family may have moved to Saudi Arabia, but I'm the real fish out of water! [laughs, then suddenly stopping] Seriously, I'm dying.
Klaus: [closing lines, after he is reverted back into a goldfish] I guess it's true what they say; once you're black, there's no going back.
Klaus: [offscreen] Say it! You have to say it!
Hayley: [runs back and forth naked] Help! Racoons took my penis!
Hayley: [runs back and forth naked] Help! Racoons took my penis!
Klaus: [talking to the new fish in the bowl] Hi, I'm Klaus. What's your sign? Pisces?
Klaus: If that were a real Wish Bowl, it would be in the Ferrari of a 600-year-old Incan on the way to his job as Jessica Alba's G-string.
Klaus: Ja. Your suit is stuffed tighter than, um, some funny German word. Uh, sorry. I'm kinda running out of fish shtick. [gasp] Oh, and just like that I'm back!
Klaus: Now here's your allowance: five bubbles. [blows five bubbles] Ah, what the hell--six bubbles. [blows another bubble and whispers] Don't tell your mother.
Klaus: That felt good. And I almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation, so I know from good.
(As Roger is getting beaten by a convenience store clerk)
(As Roger is getting beaten by a convenience store clerk)
Klaus: There was a very famous Jewish girl who kept a diary. It... ended badly. But enough about Fran Drescher! [laughs] You thought I was making a Holocaust joke! [angrily] Shame on you!
Klaus: Why so sensitive all of a sudden?
Roger: I'm going through my reproductive cycle. It's complicated. I'll draw you a diagram. Every six years, my gIaxins shoot up into my fompairs, causing me to lactate a viscous milky mucus. (milks his breasts)
Klaus: Ugh! Your insides sicken me! I'll be in mein crapper. [sigh] I'm always in mein crapper.
Roger: I'm going through my reproductive cycle. It's complicated. I'll draw you a diagram. Every six years, my gIaxins shoot up into my fompairs, causing me to lactate a viscous milky mucus. (milks his breasts)
Klaus: Ugh! Your insides sicken me! I'll be in mein crapper. [sigh] I'm always in mein crapper.
Klaus: [to Roger, who is beaten and bruised after his encounter with the East German Mafia] Use your board. Use your board. (Roger scribbles down something on a small chalkboard and shows it to Klaus) "How cute is Daniel Day-Lewis?" (Roger's eyes roll up in his head as he passes out): Oh good. The morphine's starting to work.
Male student in Steve's school: [seeing Steve wearing a back brace for correcting his scoliosis] Different!
[all students start throwing things at Steve]
[all students start throwing things at Steve]
McCreary: You're familiar with the first line of "Genesis", right?
Roger/Sydney Huffman: Well! I should say I am, sir. I should say I am!
McCreary: Does this sound right? "In the beginning God created the Heavens and a transvestite who pooped mozzarella dinosaurs."
Roger/Sydney Huffman: Well! I should say I am, sir. I should say I am!
McCreary: Does this sound right? "In the beginning God created the Heavens and a transvestite who pooped mozzarella dinosaurs."