Annie Camden: (to Eric) You wanna talk dog with Simon or puberty with Lucy?

Annie Camden: Have you ever heard "for everything there is a season"? "A time to..." uhh...hmm..."a time to--" do something or other. The point is that you just have to let nature take its course. You can't hurry these things.

Annie: You invited a guest to stay in our house without even consulting me?
Eric: ...I just thought it would be a great cultural experience for the kids, for all of us.
Annie: Well so's a museum, but unfortunately we don't have room for one in our house!

Annie (to Eric): I've signed up for school today.
Eric: What school?
Annie: College, Crawford. I want to get my teaching credentials in early childhood education.
Eric: Now? You do know that we have 7 kids now.
Annie: We have the twins and Ruthie, but Simon starts high school tomorrow, Lucy graduates high school this year, Mary's out of high school and working and Matt is out on his own.
Eric (to Annie): Matt is hardly out on his own. He sleeps out on his own. He's still a kid.
Annie: Oh stop it. He and Heather are practically married.
Eric: No they're not. That's just what we say to each other whenever we think those two might be shacking up. And Mary is going to college, she's going to go to college eventually... I hope, as soon as she figures out that she doesn't enjoy minimum wage jobs.
Annie: Unfortunately, I think Mary is quite happy with her stint in the world of minimum wage.
Eric: Well I'm not happy with it. With my luck she'll probably decide to go to college when Lucy decides to go and with Matt's we'll have 3 tuitions to pay, oh plus yours. And by the way, who says that Lucy won't have the kind of senior year that Mary had. And Simon is starting high school. Do you remember what it was like when Matt started high school? High school boys are, well they're high school boys. And we shouldn't forget Ruthie, who is well on her way to being more difficult than all the other kids rolled into one. Oh and bonus, the twins are entering the terrible twos. They are not entering, they are there.
Annie: So what are you saying? That the family is so dangerous that I can't take 1 or 2 hours away from them to take one course? I'm going back to school!
Eric: When were you going to tell me this, as you were backing out of the driveway tomorrow morning?
Annie: No, I planned to tell you just when I told you.
Eric: (sarcastically) Well, thank you, Mrs. Camden!

Annie (to Ruthie): What are our rules with drawing?
Ruthie: No drawing on the walls, or the tables, or furniture, or anywhere but paper.
Annie: That's right. So why break the rules if you know the rules?
Ruthie: I don't know. I just got bored, I guess.

Annie: (on the phone with hotel receptionist) Ginger...somebody. What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know? How many "Ginger"s do you have there? Is there a "Ginger" convention in town or something?

Annie: (to Eric during labor) Stop touching me! That's what got us in this situation in the first place.

Annie: (to Ruthie) Do you have Daddy's shoes honey?
Eric: You know Daddy really needs his shoes so if you have them (Ruthie smiles and runs away)....I'll wear my good ones. Have you seen my keys?
Annie: On the counter.
Eric: On the counter....and uh...my wedding ring?
Annie: Bathroom sink.
Eric: Oh. Good. Now all I need to do is find the list of people that I'm supposed to visit...(Annie hands him the list) Thanks.
Annie: I don't know what you'd do without me.
Eric: (kissing her) A lot less of this.
Annie: You know what I was thinking?
Eric: That once we get Ruthie in school we can walk around naked again?
Annie: (smiling) No...
Eric: But we could. (Annie nods)

Annie: Did Renee have her baby?
Matt: Yeah, she had a little girl.
Simon: Cool.
Matt: Oh, and get this, Mom. You'll love this. She named the baby after Grandma.
Simon: She named the baby Grandma?
Matt: Her name was Jenny, Simon.
Simon: Oh. I had no idea.

Annie: I can't believe Daddy.
Eric: He's still in shock. He's not himself.
Annie: No. Unfortunately, he's exactly himself.

Annie: I thought I was an ok parent. I thought I knew my kid. But I didn't.

Annie: See my tummy? That's you.
Ruthie: Maybe I never should have come out.
Annie: But...look what you would've missed...riding on Daddy's shoulders...and Simon rocking you on the front porch...and Mary...giving you a bath in the kitchen sink.
Ruthie: My butt was a lot smaller then.
Annie: All of our...bottoms were a lot smaller then.

Annie: Simon, honey, we've talked about Heaven, remember? It's a place where good people go where they're surrounded by so much love.
Simon: Yeah, but I need to know where that is, Mom.
Annie: Oh. Well, it's...it's up there.
Simon: I was hoping you'd be a little more specific than that.

Annie: When did you start drinking wine?
Charles and Jenny: Yesterday.

Annie: Who would leave a baby on our doorstep?
Ruthie: God.
Annie: That's sweet, but I think God had a little help on this one