Weeds quotes
122 total quotesConrad: This for you Snowflake. This my special blend, I call this here Clark Kent. Just sniff this, right here. It's good, huh?! You smoke this shit and you just wanna rip your clothes off in a phone booth and fight crime. I'm serious!
Conrad: You should never question Heylia's eyeballin'. That's the Rainman of weed, right there.
Cop: Sir, you do realize you just rolled through a stop sign?
Andy: Nice bike. Did your horse die?
Cop: Sir �
Andy: You must be in killer shape. Let me see your quads man.
Cop: May I see your driver's license and registration please.
Andy: When you arrest people do you ride ‘em in on your handlebars or do they just sit on the back with their arms around you?
Cop: Step out of the car.
Andy: Oh, come on. Seriously? I'm just having fun. You're a cop in bike shorts. It's adorable.
Cop: I have a gun.
Andy: Cool, I'm cool.
Andy: Nice bike. Did your horse die?
Cop: Sir �
Andy: You must be in killer shape. Let me see your quads man.
Cop: May I see your driver's license and registration please.
Andy: When you arrest people do you ride ‘em in on your handlebars or do they just sit on the back with their arms around you?
Cop: Step out of the car.
Andy: Oh, come on. Seriously? I'm just having fun. You're a cop in bike shorts. It's adorable.
Cop: I have a gun.
Andy: Cool, I'm cool.
Craig X: (at the Bodhi Sativa Caregivers Club) The first thing you wanna do when you come to the club is check out the big board. On the big board we have all the prices and strains and they do change daily. (To another customer) Hey, Billy, how's the arthritis? All right, cool. (Back to Nancy) What was I saying?
Doug Wilson: [to Maria (Mermex)] You're gonna love this country. The land of freedom and opportunity. And...[turns it on] air conditioning. Ah, do you like that? That's the cool breeze of freedom right there.
Doug Wilson: As soon as we figure out our next venture, I want to get a bigger place. I'm thinking generic mexican pharmaceuticals. Sell them to old people with no insurance. What do you think?
Doug Wilson: I'm a sidekick, Andy. I'm a sad and lonely sidekick. I'm Andrew Ridgeley.
Andy Botwin: What? He's the other guy in Wham! The guy who doesn't blow people in public bathrooms. He had a solo album. I never bought it, but...
Doug Wilson: I bought it, Andy. It sucked.
Raul: "El Andy"...this is the woman your depressed amigo [Doug] searches for?
Doug Wilson: People don't even talk to sidekicks. It's like I'm not even here.
Andy Botwin: That's the one, Raul.
Raul: We will help the sad, tall, angry, baby man find her.
Andy Botwin: What? He's the other guy in Wham! The guy who doesn't blow people in public bathrooms. He had a solo album. I never bought it, but...
Doug Wilson: I bought it, Andy. It sucked.
Raul: "El Andy"...this is the woman your depressed amigo [Doug] searches for?
Doug Wilson: People don't even talk to sidekicks. It's like I'm not even here.
Andy Botwin: That's the one, Raul.
Raul: We will help the sad, tall, angry, baby man find her.
Doug: (On phone) Hey listen, I've got somebody here, we'll finish this up at the next counsel meeting. Your turn to bring the vodka. Okay, you too. Yes, yes, I fucked your wife. Yes, I fucked your mother. Okay, bye.
Doug: Oh, it's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam, only better, because you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and stuff.
Doug: See this Lollipop
Nancy: It isn't...?
Doug: Yes, I'm getting high right now and you can't even tell.
Nancy: It isn't...?
Doug: Yes, I'm getting high right now and you can't even tell.