Charlie: Nice, huh?
Alan: Nice? She's magnificent!
Charlie: You should see her naked.
Alan: Can I?
Charlie: Well, I could show you pictures, but you may not wanna see that much of me.
Alan: Just out of curiosity, where do you find women like that? And-- and more importantly, how do you get them to go to bed with you?
Charlie: You really wanna know?
Alan: Yeah, what-- what's your secret?
Charlie: Well, see Alan, it's like this. I got a knack.
Alan: [moment of silence] That's not a secret.
Charlie: I didn't think so, but you asked.
Alan: So that's it, you got a knack?
Charlie: Hey, everybody's good at something. You, for instance... [stares at Alan] have no shame.
Alan: Excuse me, this is what they wear in the Tour de France.
Charlie: Alan, I just took a Tour de France, and the only thing I was wearing was a smile and a condom.

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