[after Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie]
Alan: OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
Charlie: Thank you.
Alan: Um, that being said, uh, are you, um, out of your FREAKIN' MIND?!
Charlie: Beg pardon?
Alan: You just could not control yourself; 'A female is in the house, she must be mounted!'
Charlie: No, it's not like that at all, and why do you even care?
Alan: Why?! You ask me why?! I will tell you why: because every time you rut with any woman even remotely connected to my life, I end up suffering!
Charlie: Oh, that's ridiculous!
Alan: Ridiculous, you say? Alright, alright let's look at the record. You slept with Judith's sister...
Charlie: Well yeah-
Alan: At my wedding reception! You had more sex on my wedding day that I did!
Charlie: That part's not my fault!
Alan: Ok, let's jump ahead. When Judith was divorcing me, who seduced and then abandoned my lawyer, causing her to take revenge on me?!
Charlie: Hold on, that chick was nuts!
Alan: I lost everything!
Charlie: To be fair, you didn't have that much to begin with!
Alan: OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
Charlie: Thank you.
Alan: Um, that being said, uh, are you, um, out of your FREAKIN' MIND?!
Charlie: Beg pardon?
Alan: You just could not control yourself; 'A female is in the house, she must be mounted!'
Charlie: No, it's not like that at all, and why do you even care?
Alan: Why?! You ask me why?! I will tell you why: because every time you rut with any woman even remotely connected to my life, I end up suffering!
Charlie: Oh, that's ridiculous!
Alan: Ridiculous, you say? Alright, alright let's look at the record. You slept with Judith's sister...
Charlie: Well yeah-
Alan: At my wedding reception! You had more sex on my wedding day that I did!
Charlie: That part's not my fault!
Alan: Ok, let's jump ahead. When Judith was divorcing me, who seduced and then abandoned my lawyer, causing her to take revenge on me?!
Charlie: Hold on, that chick was nuts!
Alan: I lost everything!
Charlie: To be fair, you didn't have that much to begin with!
[after Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie]
Alan : OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
Charlie : Thank you.
Alan : Um, that being said, uh, are you, um, out of your FREAKIN' MIND?!
Charlie : Beg pardon?
Alan : You just could not control yourself; 'A female is in the house, she must be mounted!'
Charlie : No, it's not like that at all, and why do you even care?
Alan : Why?! You ask me why?! I will tell you why : because every time you rut with any woman even remotely connected to my life, I end up suffering!
Charlie : Oh, that's ridiculous!
Alan : Ridiculous, you say? Alright, alright let's look at the record. You slept with Judith's sister...
Charlie : Well yeah-
Alan : At my wedding reception! You had more sex on my wedding day that I did!
Charlie : That part's not my fault!
Alan : Ok, let's jump ahead. When Judith was divorcing me, who seduced and then abandoned my lawyer, causing her to take revenge on me ?!
Charlie : Hold on, that chick was nuts!
Alan : I lost everything!
Charlie : To be fair, you didn't have that much to begin with!
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/two-and-a-half-men/quote_12488.html
