Evelyn: This event isn't televised, is it?
Charlie: No.
Evelyn: Hmm. Well, I guess they only show the important awards.
Charlie: [hands his keys to Alan] Congratulations, you've just been elected tonight's designated driver.
Alan: Come on, just ignore her.
Charlie: Ignore her? It'd be easier to ignore blood in my urine!

  »   More Quotes from Two and a Half Men
  »   Back to the TV Quotes Database