Charlie: [Reading Jake's test answers] Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence in....pen. For this you got an A?
Jake: Yeah, everybody did. I love you Uncle Charlie [Runs to his room]
Alan: I think you know what you have to do.
Charlie: Um... break up with Miss Pasternak, right?
Alan: Hell, no, he's [Jake] getting A's. He hasn't gotten an A since nap time in kindergarten.
Charlie: But he's not learning anything!
Alan: Charlie, get your priorities straight; I'm trying to get him into a decent middle school! After he's accepted, he can learn that Sacajawea wasn't... [reading Jake's test answer]: "a bag full of Jawea".

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