Roger Hardy: Dale. We've got a problem. Effective immediately, without pay, I regret to inform you of your suspension from the FBI.

Shelly Johnson: I've got one man too many in my life and I'm married to him. Sound familiar?
Norma Jennings: Maybe you should have a little talk with Leo.
Shelly Johnson: Leo doesn't talk, he hits. He was so great at first, you know. This flashy guy in his hot car. Then we get married and I find out all he was looking for was a maid he didn't have to pay. I feel so stupid.
Norma Jennings: Look at us. Two men apiece and we don't know what to do with any of the four of them.

Sheriff Truman: Anything we should be working on?
Albert Rosenfield: Yeah. You might practice walking without dragging your knuckles on the floor. Heh heh heh.
Sheriff Truman: Albert! Let's talk about knuckles. The last time I knocked you down, I felt bad about it, the next time's gonna be a real pleasure.
Albert Rosenfield: You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchet-man in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely: revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman.
Dale Cooper: Albert's path is a strange and difficult one.

Sheriff Truman: I hear that you're real good at what you do.
Albert Rosenfield: That's correct.
Sheriff Truman: Well, that's good. Because normally if a stranger walked into my station talking this kind of crap, he'd be looking for his teeth two blocks up on Queer Street.

Sheriff Truman: If I understand law correctly, you need extradition papers in order to get a statement from me. And you need a subpoena from a judge. Now unless you gentlemen have that paperwork I suggest you take your cooperation, and stuff it.

Sheriff Truman: Lucy, you'd better bring Agent Cooper up to date.
Lucy Moran: Leo Johnson was shot, Jacques Renault was strangled, the mill burned, Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing, Nadine is in a coma from taking sleeping pills.
Dale Cooper: How long have I been out?
Sheriff Truman: Six hours.
...
Dale Cooper: Laura Palmer is dead. Jacques Renault is dead. Ronette Pulaski and Leo Johnson are in comas. Waldo the bird is dead. This leaves only the third man.

Sheriff Truman: So, what did this giant sound like, huh? I mean, did he have a big, booming voice or what?
Dale Cooper: No, no! He spoke softly, distinctly.
Albert Rosenfield: And you gave him the beans you were supposed to use to buy a cow.
Dale Cooper: No, Albert! I gave him my ring.
Albert Rosenfield: Okay. Uh, confining my conclusions to the planet Earth...

Sheriff Truman: There's a sort of evil out there. Something very, very strange in these old woods. Call it what you want. A darkness, a presence. It takes many forms but... its been out there for as long as anyone can remember and we've always been here to fight it.

Sheriff Truman: You know, I think I'd better start studying medicine.
Dale Cooper: And why is that?
Sheriff Truman: Because I'm beginning to feel a bit like Dr. Watson.

The Man from Another Place: Wow, Bob, wow. Fire walk with me.

The One Armed Man: Through the darkness of future's past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds... "Fire... walk with me." We lived among the people. I think you say, convenience store. We lived above it. I mean it like it is... like it sounds. I too have been touched by the devilish one. Tattoo on the left shoulder... Oh, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed. I took the entire arm off. My name is Mike. His name is Bob.
Killer BOB: Mike. Mike! Can you hear me? Catch you... with my death bag! You may think I've gone insane... but I promise. I will kill again.

Windom Earle: Once upon a time, there was a place of great goodness called the White Lodge. Fawns gamboled there amidst happy laughing spirits. The sounds of innocence and laughter filled the air. When it rained it rained sweet nectar that paralyzed the heart with the desire to live one's life in truth and beauty... Generally speaking, a ghastly place reeking of virtue's sour smell, engorged with the whispered prayers of kneeling mothers, mewling newborns, and fools young and old compelled to do good without reason. But, I am pleased to note, our story does not end in this place of saccharine excess. For there is another place, its opposite, of almost unimaginable power, chock full of dark forces and vicious secrets. No prayers dare penetrate this frightful maw. Spirits there care not for good deeds and priestly invocations. They are as like to rip the flesh from your bones as greet you with a happy g'day. And, if harnessed, these spirits, this hidden land of unmuffled screams and broken hearts, will offer up a power so vast that its bearer might reorder the earth itself to his liking. This place I speak of, is known as the Black Lodge. And I intend to find it.

Windom Earle: These evil sorcerers, dugpas, they call them, cultivate evil for the sake of evil and nothing else. They express themselves in darkness for darkness, without leavening motive. This ardent purity has allowed them to access a secret place of great power, where the cultivation of evil proceeds in exponential fashion. And with it, the furtherance of evil's resulting power. These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion. The dugpas have many names for it, but chief among them is the Black Lodge... But you don't believe me, do you? You think I'm mad. Overworked. Go away.

[Agent Bryson asks admiringly after the departing Audrey Horne.]
Dale Cooper: Denise, I would assume you're no longer interested in girls.
Denise Bryson: Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time if you know what I mean.
Dale Cooper: Not really.

[Albert and Cooper are discussing whether to arrest Josie Packard.]
Albert Rosenfield: There's an epidemic of multiple gunshot wounds following this chick around. She is a menace.
Dale Cooper: I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll confess. Turn herself in.
Albert Rosenfield: [sarcastically] Maybe she'll grow wings and join the circus.