Albert Rosenfield: I, uh, performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed... let's see, beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat... and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio.
Dale Cooper: You're making a joke!
Albert Rosenfield: I like to think of myself as one of the happy generations.

Albert Rosenfield: Oh yeah, well I've had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells ... and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed -- you've had enough of me?
Sheriff Truman: Yes I have. [Punches Albert in face]
...
Albert Rosenfield: The old rustic sucker-punch, huh? [calling after Truman] A hail of bullets would be nice!
Dale Cooper: That's enough! The sheriff didn't mean anything.
Albert Rosenfield: He hit me!
Dale Cooper: Well, I'm sure he meant to do that.

Benjamin Horne: Audrey, look, I know that I haven't been a very good father. Oh hell, who am I kidding? When have I ever been anything but a sleazy rapacious heel?
Audrey Horne: Well Daddy, maybe when I was little, but...
Benjamin Horne: Exactly.

Benjamin Horne: We'll of course take care of your medical expenses.
Dick Tremayne: How kind. One might also think worker's compensation of some variety will be involved...
Benjamin Horne: Easily done.
Dick Tremayne: Capital, Mr. Horne. I'll alert my attorney.

BOB [possessing Dale Cooper] : How's Annie? How's Annie? How's Annie?
Cast

Bobby Briggs: [seeing Gordon and Shelly kiss] Hey! What the hell's going on?
Gordon Cole: YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT. [to Shelly] Acts like he's never seen a kiss before.
Dale Cooper: Uh, Gordon...
Gordon Cole: TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!

Bobby Briggs: Laura wanted to die.
Dr. Jacoby: How do you know that?
Bobby Briggs: Because she told me.
Dr. Jacoby: What else did she tell you? Did she tell you that there was no goodness in the world?
Bobby Briggs: She said people try to be good but they're really sick and rotten, her most of all, and every time she tried to make the world a better place, something terrible came up inside her and pulled her back down into hell. Took her deeper and deeper into the blackest nightmare. Every time it got harder to go back up to the light.

Bobby Briggs: Norma, I'll see you in my dreams.
Norma Jennings: Not if I see you first.

Colonel Riley: Garland Briggs is the best pilot I've ever known. He was born with hardware most of us only dream of having. He's been walking point on this operation for three years, carrying a full pack. I'll tell you this: his disappearance has implications that go so far beyond national security the cold war seems like a case of the sniffles.

Dale Cooper: [reading Harold Smith's suicide note.] "J'ai une âme solitaire." I am a lonely soul. Poor guy.

Dale Cooper: Audrey, you'll have to excuse me this morning, I'm running late. I only have time for coffee.
Audrey Horne: Well maybe I could go with you.
Dale Cooper: Wednesdays were traditionally a school day when I was your age.
Audrey Horne : [moving in close] I can't believe you were ever my age.
Dale Cooper: I've got the pictures to prove it. How old are you?
Audrey Horne: Eighteen.
Dale Cooper: Well, see you later Audrey.

Dale Cooper: Buddhist tradition first came to the land of snow in the fifth century AD. The first Tibetan king to be touched by the Dharma was King Hathatha Rignamputsan. He and succeeding kings were collectively known as the Happy Generations. Now some historians place them in the Water Snake Year, 213 AD. Others in the year of the water ox, 173 AD. Amazing isn't it? The Happy Generations.
Albert Rosenfield: Agent Cooper, I am thrilled to pieces that the Dharma came to King Ho-Ho-Ho, I really am, but right now I'm trying hard to focus on the more immediate problems of our own century right here in Twin Peaks.
Dale Cooper: Albert, you'd be surprised at the connection between the two.
Albert Rosenfield: [deadpan] Color me amazed.

Dale Cooper: Diane, 7:30 am, February twenty-fourth. Entering town of Twin Peaks. Five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. Never seen so many trees in my life. As W.C. Fields would say, I'd rather be here than Philadelphia. It's fifty-four degrees on a slightly overcast day. Weatherman said rain. If you could get paid that kind of money for being wrong sixty percent of the time it'd beat working. Mileage is 79,345, gauge is on reserve, I'm riding on fumes here, I've got to tank up when I get into town. Remind me to tell you how much that is. Lunch was $6.31 at the Lamplighter Inn. That's on Highway Two near Lewis Fork. That was a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, a slice of cherry pie and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way, that cherry pie is worth a stop.

Dale Cooper: Diane, my recorder is on the table. I'm unable to reach it at this time. I can only hope that I inadvertently pressed the voice activation button. I'm lying on the floor of my room. I've been shot. There's a great deal of pain and a fair amount of blood. Fortunately I was wearing my bulletproof vest last night per bureau regulations when working undercover. I remember folding the vest up trying to chase down a wood tick. If you can imagine the impact on your chest of three bowling balls dropped from the height of about nine feet, you might began to approximate the sensation. All things considered, being shot is not as bad as I always thought it might be. As long as you can keep the fear from your mind. But I guess you can say that about almost anything in life. Its not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.

Dale Cooper: Diane... 10:00 a.m. at the Great Northern. I've just been in a hotel room with the One-armed Man... or what's left of him. In another time, another culture, this man would have been a seer, a shaman priest... possibly a leader. In our world, he's a shoe peddler, and lives in the shadows.