Proposition Joe: I treated you like a son.
Marlo: I wasn't made to play the son.
...
Proposition Joe: Proposition, then--I just step out the way. You never hear from me again. I just disappear.
Marlo: Joe, you'd be up into mischief in no time. Truth is, you wouldn't be able to change up any more than me.

Proposition Joe: I'm doing like one of them marriage counselors. Charge by the hour to tell some fool he need to bring some flowers home. Then charge another hour telling the bitch she oughta suck some cock every little once in a while. You know, keep a marriage strong like that.

Proposition Joe: Marlo is Marlo, man. He weren't the one that put me in this trick bag. The motherfucker who snuggled up and whispered in Marlo's ear did that.

Rawls: McNulty! Where in fuck is he?
Landsman: I-- uh... he's detailed, Major, to narcotics.
Rawls: I fuckin' know where he's detailed. I fuckin' already know that.

Rawls: [To McNulty] Great work you all did. And the number of clearances I'm looking at here? I mean, Christ, for the first time this year, we got the clearance rate up over 40%. That's on the one hand. On the other hand, I know the Deputy Ops got a call from the First Deputy U.S. Attorney this morning asking whether an asshole such as yourself really works for us. And, of course, this is the first the deputy hears his troops are creeping behind his back, trying to take a case federal when they've already been told the case is closed. You're a good detective. And I've got to admit you got some stones on you. Did you actually call the first deputy an empty suit? [Chuckles] I want to see you land okay, Jimmy. So, tell me, where don't you wanna go?

Rawls: Amazing. Crime is down and no one wants to take any credit. What is wrong with this picture?

Rawls: Bad news gentlemen, as we're actually gonna have to catch this motherfucker. Good news is that our Mayor finally needs a police department more than he needs a school system.

Rawls: Bunny, you cocksucker, I got to give it to you, a brilliant idea. Insane and illegal, but stone fuckin' brilliant nonetheless. After all my puttin' my foot up people's asses to get the numbers down, he comes along and in one stroke, gets a 14 fuckin' percent decrease. Fuckin' shame it's gonna end our careers, but still.

Rawls: Do you even know what this detail's about Lieutenant?
Daniels: Some kinda beef that Valchek has.
Rawls: Two fuckin' Polacks pissin' on each other's leg.

Rawls: Down the road, when we settle on this, and we will settle on this, I don't expect any of you will ever see another hour of O.T. again. I don't expect any of you will be doing police work ever again. And the only reason this isn't before a grand jury right now is because our mayor can't live with that. Oh, yeah. The Mayor knows your name.
Daniels: So this is your last case. Work it.
Rawls: If you're half the detective you think you are, you'll put this one down fast and take us all off the hook. The longer this goes on, the worse the payback's gonna be.

Rawls: Listen to me, you fuck. You did a lot of shit here. You played a lot of fucking cards. And you made a lot of fucking people do a lot of fucking things they didn't want to do. This is true. We both know this is true. You, McNulty, are a gaping asshole. We both know this. Fuck if everybody in CID doesn't know it. But fuck if I'm gonna stand here and say you did a single fucking thing to get a police shot. You did not do this, you fucking hear me? This is not on you. [McNulty nods] No it isn't, asshole. Believe it or not, everything isn't about you. And the motherfucker saying this, he hates your guts, McNulty. So you know if it was on you, I'd be the son of a bitch to say so. Shit went bad. She took two for the company. That's the only lesson here.

Rawls: Mr. Mayor, about Ervin -- if you don't mind me asking -- why keep him as a puppet commissioner when you can just fire the guy?
[Carcetti & Norman look at each other]
Norman: We mind you asking.

Rawls: Sergeant! Your floater's come back. County boards are puttin' her on our side of the bridge.
Landsman: No fuckin' way.
Rawls: Yeah, some useless fuck in our marine unit faxed 'em a report on the early morning tides and wind currents. Shows the body went into the water west of the bridge and drifted out.
Landsman: McNulty.
Rawls: [laughs] Fuckin' Jimmy. Fuckin' with us for the fun of it. I gotta give the son of a bitch some credit for wit on this one. [laughs] Cocksucker.
Landsman: Motherfucker.

Rhonda: [reading an affadavit] You all cannot spell for shit.
Bunk: Well, would we be police if we could?

Runner: Yo, I just rolled for peanut butter. You got anything else?
Colicchio: The fuck I look like, Chef Boyardee?
Runner: Who?