Toby: Well, how bout when we, instead of blowing Iraq back to the 7th century for harboring terrorists and trying to develop nuclear weapons, we just imposed economic sanctions and were reviled by the Arab world for not giving them a global charge card and a free trade treaty? How about when we pushed Israel to give up land for peace? How about when we sent American soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia and the Arab World told us we were desecrating their Holy Land while ignoring the fact that we were invited? How about two weeks ago, in the State of the Union, when the President praised the Islamic people as “faithful” and “hard-working” only to be denounced in the Arab press as knowing nothing about Islam, but none of that is the point... I don't remember having to explain to Italians that our problem wasn't with them, but with Mussolini. Why does the US have to take every Arab country out for an ice cream cone? They'll like us when we win! (long pause) Thousands of madrasas teaching children nothing nothing nothing but the Koran and to hate America. Who do we see about that? Do I want to preach America or Judeo-Christianity? No. If their religion forbids them from playing the trumpet, so be it. But I want those kids to... look at a globe. Be exposed to social sciences, history, some literature. They'll like us when we win.

Toby: What, I'm not coming in the car?
Bartlet: No, and you know why? Because you made fun of the guacamole.
Toby: I didn't!
Bartlet: I could tell you were thinking it.
Toby: ...Fair enough.

Toby: When you think of Afghanistan, think of Poland. When you think of the Taliban, think of the Nazis. When you think of the citizens of Afghanistan, think of the Jews in concentration camps. A friend of my dad's was at one of the camps. He used to come over to the house, and he and my dad used to shoot some pinochle. He said he once saw a guy at the camp kneeling and praying. He said, "What are you doing?" The guy said he was thanking God. And my dad's friend said, "What could you possibly be thanking God for?" He said, "I'm thanking God for not making me like them." Bad people can't be recognized on sight. There's no point in trying.

Toby: Where's the Senator?
Josh: He's with CJ. He got me a little drunk.
Toby: Is he leaving?
Josh: I think he's getting CJ a little drunk.

Toby: Who needs Dante? I'm on my way to hell at 30,000 feet.

Toby: Why's a test-ban treaty so important? Let me tell you. In 1974, India set off a peaceful nuclear explosion. Indira Gandhi herself said they had no intention of building a bomb, they just wanted to know that they could. Twenty years later India sets off five nuclear explosions. Who gets nervous? Pakistan. And when Pakistan gets nervous, everybody get nervous. You know why? 'Cause we're all gonna die.

Toby: You want the benefits of free trade? Food is cheaper.
Policewoman: Yes.
Toby: Food is cheaper! Clothes are cheaper, steel is cheaper, cars are cheaper ... Phone service is cheaper! You feel me building a rhythm here? That's because I'm a speech writer and I know how to make a point.
Policewoman: Toby.
Toby: It lowers prices, and it raises income. You see what I did with 'lowers' and 'raises' there? It's called the science of listener attention. We did repetition, we did floating opposites, and now you end with the one that's not like the others. Ready? Free trade stops wars. And that's it. Free trade stops wars, and we figure out how to fix the rest. One world, one peace... I'm sure I've seen that on a sign somewhere.

Toby: You're concerned about American labor and manufacturing.
Congressman: Yeah.
Toby: What kind of car do you drive?
Congressman: Toyota.
Toby: Then shut up.
...
Josh: What would you have done if he had said he drove an American car?
Toby: Found some other way of humiliating him.

Toby: You're not planning on writing a constitution this week?
Lessig: The document is just a beginning. A constitutional democracy succeeds only if the constitution reflects democratic values alive in the citizenry. Which is why our most important job is to instill those values in their leaders through discussion and debate.

Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech?
Bartlet: No.
Van Dyke: Really?
Bartlet: On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.
C.J.: Why don't we all sit down?
Bartlet: No. Let's not, C.J. These people won't be staying that long. May I have some coffee, Mr. Lewis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself The Lambs of God?
Caldwell: Sir, it's not up to me to--
Bartlet: Crap. It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I'm upset. [a staffer hands him coffee] Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I tell Abbey I'm going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. Abbey told me to not drive while I was upset and she was right. She was right yesterday when she told me not to get on that damn bicycle while I was upset, but I did it anyway, and I guess I was just about as angry as I've ever been in my life. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman's right to choose. Now Annie, all of 12, has always been precocious, but she's got a good head on her shoulders and I like it when she uses it. So I couldn't understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. I said, "Elizabeth, what's wrong?" She said, "It's Annie." Now, I love my family and I've read my Bible from cover to cover. So I want you to tell me from what part of the Holy Scripture do you suppose the Lambs of God drew their Divine inspiration when they sent my 12 year-old granddaughter a Raggedy Ann doll with a knife stuck through its throat? [pause] You'll denounce these people, Al. You'll do it publicly. And until you do, you can all get your fat asses out of my White House. C.J., show these people out.
Mary Marsh: I believe we can find the door.
Bartlet: Find it now.

Vic: Sir, was there something you wanted to discuss?
Bartlet: No, no. I just thought...you know, when you have a daughter, you just like to know...you really want to know whether...ah, hell. Just tell me you decided to marry her before you got her pregnant.
Vic: Eleven months, two weeks and three days.
Bartlet: Excuse me?
Vic: That's when I decided to marry her: a year ago, on our third date.
Bartlet: What was wrong with the first two?

Vinick: (watching Bob Russell and Matt Santos on TV) If either one of these guys had the political instincts of Jed Bartlet, I'd be 20 points behind right now.

Vinick: [who endorsed nuclear power during the debate] Every time they show that debate clip, it looks like I ran into that plant myself and spilled uranium on the floor!

Vinick: For in the end, the presidency is more than a simple catalog of policies pursued, crises weathered, battles lost and won. It is a stewardship, a sacred trust, a commitment to sacrifice every fiber of your being, every thought, every moment, every ... every everything, in service to your nation.

Vinick: Hey, I'm proud of my voting record. Well, most of it. I'd quit the Senate in a second if I thought it'd help us win. Now it would just look like a cheap stunt.