Sam: She wanted a name for election night and I said, "Use my name," not thinking for a second it was ever going to be a practical option. Can I ask, is your office now The House of the Rising Sun?
CJ: Yes.
Toby: You did it for the widow.
Sam: Yes, and for a guy I met named Will Bailey who was running the campaign and worked his ass off and never backed off and, by the way, navigated a dead liberal Democrat to a win against Chuck Webb! Five hundred races tonight, that was pretty impressive. Though it was an Aristotelian confluence of events that could only happen to me.

Sam: So guys, when I was downstairs I made a decision: I'm going to register with the Republican Party. And I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they're a freedom-loving people.
Ainsley: We also like beef.
Sam: You know, you insist that government is depraved for not legislating against what we can see on the newsstands, or what we can see in an art exhibit, or what we can burn in protest, or which sex we're allowed to have sex with, or a woman's right to choose. But don't you dare try to regulate this deadly weapon I have concealed on me, for that would encroach against my freedom.
Ainsley: Yeah, and Democrats believe in free speech as long as it isn't prayer while you're standing in school. You believe in the Freedom of Information Act, except if you want to find out if your 14-year-old daughter has had an abortion.
Sam: We believe in the ERA.
Ainsley: Well, go get them.
Sam: How can you have an objection...
Ainsley: Because it's humiliating! A new amendment we vote on declaring that I'm equal under the law to a man? I am mortified to discover there's reason to believe I wasn't before. I am a citizen of this country. I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old, white men. The same Article 14 that protects you, protects me and I went to law school just to make sure. And with that, I'm going back down to the mess, because I thought I may have seen there a peach.
Sam: [to Ed and Larry]: I would have countered that, but I already moved on to other things in my head.

Sam: The U.S. is one of five countries on earth that puts to death people who're under the age of 18 when they committed a crime.
Charlie: Nigeria.
Sam: Pakistan.
Charlie: Saudi Arabia and Iran?
Sam: Yeah. So, that's a list we definitely want to be on.

Sam: They have bathrobes at the gym?
C.J.: In the women's locker room.
Sam: But not the men's.
CJ: Yeah.
Sam: Now, that's outrageous. There's a thousand men working here and fifty women...
CJ: Yeah, and it's the bathrobes that's outrageous.

Sam: This country is populated with unbalanced people, many of whom find their way to Washington, as if the continent funnels them into this one spot.

Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
Toby: What chats?
Sam: Our late night chats.
Toby: Did we ever do that?
Sam: No.

Sam: What's going on with you and Andy?
Toby: Nothing.
Sam: I think you're wrong.
Toby: I'm not.
Sam: I think you're getting back together.
Toby: We're not.
Sam: But you want to.
Toby: Yes.
Sam: I think... Wait. What?
Toby: See, sometimes if I slam on the brakes, you run right past.
Josh: Okay, fill us in on everything you've got so far between the two of you.
Toby: Yeah, that's what's going to happen right now.

Sam: Why are you so bent on countering these idiot leaflets?
Bruno: Because I am tired of working for candidates who make me think I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam. I'm tired of getting them elected. You all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said liberal means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on communism, soft on defense, and we're going to tax ya back to the stone age, because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to. And instead of saying 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, leave it to beaver trip back to the fifties,' we cowered in the corner. And said 'Please Don't Hurt Me'. No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh, what do you say?

Sam: Winnie. Yeah, I said it. Listen, you're talented. When you get out of school, you should come see me for a job.
Winnifred Hooper: I suppose you're not a complete loser. And you write very well...So when I get out of school, you should come see me for a job.

Sam: You wrote a concession?
Toby: Of course I wrote a concession. What, do you want to tempt the wrath of the... whatever, from high atop the thing?
Sam: No.
Toby: Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What's the hell is the matter with you?
Sam: It's like, 25 degrees outside.
Toby: Go!

Sam: You're asking me out on a date.
Mallory: No, I'm asking you to accompany me to see an internationally renowned opera company perform a work indigenous to its culture.
Sam: Right, and in what way will it distinguish itself from a date?
Mallory: There will be, under no circumstances, sex for you at the end of the evening.
Sam: Right.
Mallory: So what do you say?
Sam: Well, like most people I'm an absolute nut for Chinese opera. The Chinese being known the world over for their soaring and romantic melodies, and what with your guarantee that there won't be sex, I don't see how I could say no.

Sam: You're going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition of the Equal Rights Amendment?
Ainsley: And get some decent pizza, yeah.
Sam: They're gonna hate you.
Ainsley: I'm a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don't think they hated me the first time around?

Sandy: Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
Bartlet: Yeah. And I'm gonna win.

Sandy: Mr. President, can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
Bartlet: I'm sorry, Sandy, there was a bit of noise there, could you repeat the question?
Sandy: Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
[Bartlet slides his hands off the podium, puts them in his pockets, looks away and smiles]
Leo: Watch this...
Season Three

Santos: You know I'd been hoping to stand here tonight under very different circumstances, and I have been asked by people that I respect to take this opportunity to support one of the other fine candidates who have made this race with me, to help decide who our nominee will be. But I can't do that. I can't do that because it's not my place to decide who our nominee should be. That decision is yours and yours alone. Now there has been a great deal made about Governor Baker's decision not to disclose his wife's minor medical condition. Many people believe that he should have. But I don't believe Governor Baker failed to disclose it because he was ashamed or embarrassed. I think he didn't disclose it because we're the hypocrites, not the Bakers; because we're all broken, every single one of us, and yet we pretend that we're not. We all live lives of imperfection and yet we cling to this fantasy that there's this perfect life and that our leaders should embody it. But if we expect our leaders to live on some higher moral plain than the rest of us, well we're just asking to be deceived. Now it's been suggested to me this week that I should try to buy your support with jobs, and the promise of access. It's been suggested to me that party unity is more important than your democratic rights as delegates. That's right it's not. And you have a decision to make. Don't vote for us because you think we're perfect. Don't vote for us because of what we might be able to do for you only. Vote for the person who shares your ideals, your hopes, your dreams. Vote for the person who most embodies what you believe we need to keep our nation strong and free. And when you have done that, you can go back to Seattle, and Boston, to Miami, to Omaha, to Tulsa and Chicago, and Atlanta with your head held high, and say, “I am a member of the Democratic Party.”