Flight Attendant: Sir, I'm going to have to ask that you turn off your cellular phone.
Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Came off the line twenty months ago. Carries a Sim-5 transponder tracking system. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?

Gaile Addison: As you know, we have very little in the budget for redecorating.
Helen: Oh? How much is very little?
Gaile Addison: $200,000. You might want to establish a fund raising committee to raise a few million dollars and do it right. There really is a lot to do, especially in this room. I've never really liked the color of this rug but the Bartlets ... Well. It's up to you now.

Gen. Adamle: Sultan Bin Abu Azir ain't what he used to be. Last time I was in Kuwait he gave me a gold-inlaid Gadara sword originating from the Bin Hamar tribe.
Leo: What'd you get this time?
Gen. Adamle: Nothing.
Leo: Wanna go down to the Situation Room, blow 'em off the face of the earth?

Gov. Ritchie: My view of this is simple: we don't need a Federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry. Let the states decide, let the communities decide on health care, on education, on lower taxes, not higher taxes. Now, he's going to throw a big word at you - "unfunded mandate." He's going to say if Washington lets the states do it, it's an unfunded mandate. But what he doesn't like is the federal government losing power. But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.
Moderator: President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds for a question and an answer.
Bartlet: Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things. "Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one big word. There are times when we're fifty states and there are times when we're one country, and have national needs. And the way I know this is that Florida didn't fight Germany in World War II or establish civil rights. You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall. That's a perfectly valid opinion. But your state of Florida got $12.6 billion in federal money last year - from Nebraskans, and Virginians, and New Yorkers, and Alaskans, with their Eskimo poetry. 12.6 out of a state budget of $50 billion. Now, I'm supposed to be using this time for a question, so here it is: Can we have it back, please?
Josh: Game on!

Gov. Ritchie: Now, I want people to work together in this great country, and that's what I did in Florida--I brought people together--and that's what I'll do as your President. End the logjam, end the gridlock, and bring Republicans together with Democrats, 'cause Americans are tired of partisan politics.
Bartlet: Actually, what you've done in Florida is bring the right together with the far right. And I don't think Americans are tired of partisan politics; I think they're tired of hearing career politicians diss partisan politics to get a gig. I've tried it before. They ain't buying it. That's okay, though...that's okay, though, 'cause partisan politics is good. Partisan politics is what the Founders had in mind. It guarantees that the minority opinion is heard, and as a lifelong possessor of minority opinions, I appreciate it. But if you're troubled by it, Governor, you should know, in this campaign, you've used the word 'liberal' 74 times. In one day. It was yesterday.
Toby: I'm not sure I can watch anymore...no, wait, I can. I can.

Harry: Mr. President?
C.J.: No questions right now, Harry.
Harry: A short one.
Bartlet: She's not worried about the length of your question, she's worried about the length of my response.

Hoynes: [to Josh] It's time to start leading. You're never going to be Leo McGarry to Jed Bartlet. But you can be Leo to me. I'm running for President. I want you with me. I want you to run my campaign.

Jeff Breckenridge: You got a dollar?
Josh: Yeah.
Jeff Breckenridge: Take it out. Look at the back. The seal, the pyramid, it's unfinished, with the eye of God looking over it, and the words annuit coeptis - he, God, favors our undertaking. The seal is meant to be unfinished, because this country's meant to be unfinished. We're meant to keep doing better. We're meant to keep discussing and debating. And, we're meant to read books by great historical scholars and then talk about them...

Joe: I know that when life expectancy goes up, that's not victimizing undertakers.
CJ: Well argued, though I do hate you and everything you stand for.
Joe: Claudia Jean, you've only known me for four minutes. Usually it takes people the better part of an hour to hate me and everything I stand for.
CJ: I'm the Press Secretary, Boo-Boo. I don't have that kind of time.

Joey (Kenny): There are people you haven't persuaded yet. These numbers mean dial it up. Otherwise, you're like the French radical watching the crowd run by and saying, "There go my people. I must find out where they're going so I can lead them."

Joey: Vox populi, vox dei.
Josh: The voice of the people is the voice of a dog.
Joey: The voice of God, Joshua.
Josh: Yes.

Jordan: All I meant by 'cloak and dagger' is that I'm not cut out for the security meetings and the secret this and the back channel ambassadors. It's like you're in the Mafia.
Leo: Well, it may be like I'm in the Mafia, but I'm not. I work for the good guys.
Jordan: It was one sentence. The problem was that you were never at the other end of the phone.
Leo: That's an entirely different kettle of beans and we can have that discussion, but history has shown if you just wait and tell it to a divorce lawyer you can have half of my stuff.
Jordan: I don't want your stuff.
Leo: You don't know; some of it's good stuff.

Josh: [about the President] How's he doing in there?
Toby: He's got that look on his face like he's thinking of ways of killing himself.

Josh: [after Santos admits he only became a candidate to get a couple of months of media exposure for his education plan] I gave up everything for this! You aren't even in it to win?
Santos: Maybe we have a different definition of winning, Josh.

Josh: [after seeing that Margaret is quite pregnant] Am I seeing things? or is she...
C.J.: Very.
Josh: Wow. I didn't know she was pregnant.
Leo: She's pregnant.
Josh: I didn't even know she was married... [beat; Leo and CJ stare at him] Right. How is the President doing?