Statler: Hey, bro!
Berle: What?
Statler: Hey, Berle? You know what? I'm just figure out your style.
Berle: Really?
Statler: You work like Gregory Peck.
Berle: Gregory Peck is not a comedian.
Statler: Well?
Berle: Just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian for half of my life.
Waldorf: How come we got this half?
Berle: Did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
Statler: That's right.
Berle: What's right?
Statler: We came in here to be entertained and we're not.
Berle: Oh, yeah? I'd love to see you come down here and be funny.
Waldorf: You first!
Berle: "Ha, ha, ha", the audience! "Ha, ha, ha"! Don't paying any attention to old folks. Let me tells the story.
Statler: Hey, bro!
Berle: Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
Statler: You know what you're doing wrong?
Berle: What I'm doing wrong?
Statler: Standing too close to the audience.
Berle: Oh, yeah? How is this?
Statler: You're still too close.
Berle: Oh, sorry. Is this okay?
Statler: Now little more.
Berle: How far back do you want me to go?
Statler: You got a car?
Berle: Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
Waldorf: He can't. He's too busy.
Berle: Doing what?
Waldorf: Keeping people in!
Berle: (to the audience) And you encourage him! Thath's what you're doing! (to Statler and Waldorf) You know, guys? I got good mind to punch you in your nose.
Waldorf: Please not while I'm holding it.
Berle: That's very funny.
Waldorf: Ah, you can use it.
Berle: I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
Statler: How come they never reach your mouth?
Berle: Gentleman! Will you please take it easy? You think I'm doing this for fun?
Statler: Not so far!
Berle: Oh, I see. You think you could do better?
Statler: I couldn't do worse.
Berle: Allright.
Waldorf: We should.
Berle: Oh, yeah? You sing?
Statler: No.
Berle: You dance?
Statler: No.
Berle: Can you get laughs?
Statler: No
Berle: Then what would you do?
Waldorf: Just what your doing.
Berle: Okay, that's it! That's it! I'm going to call the police!
Statler: Good idea, you need all the protection you can get.
Berle: What?
Statler: Hey, Berle? You know what? I'm just figure out your style.
Berle: Really?
Statler: You work like Gregory Peck.
Berle: Gregory Peck is not a comedian.
Statler: Well?
Berle: Just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian for half of my life.
Waldorf: How come we got this half?
Berle: Did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
Statler: That's right.
Berle: What's right?
Statler: We came in here to be entertained and we're not.
Berle: Oh, yeah? I'd love to see you come down here and be funny.
Waldorf: You first!
Berle: "Ha, ha, ha", the audience! "Ha, ha, ha"! Don't paying any attention to old folks. Let me tells the story.
Statler: Hey, bro!
Berle: Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
Statler: You know what you're doing wrong?
Berle: What I'm doing wrong?
Statler: Standing too close to the audience.
Berle: Oh, yeah? How is this?
Statler: You're still too close.
Berle: Oh, sorry. Is this okay?
Statler: Now little more.
Berle: How far back do you want me to go?
Statler: You got a car?
Berle: Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
Waldorf: He can't. He's too busy.
Berle: Doing what?
Waldorf: Keeping people in!
Berle: (to the audience) And you encourage him! Thath's what you're doing! (to Statler and Waldorf) You know, guys? I got good mind to punch you in your nose.
Waldorf: Please not while I'm holding it.
Berle: That's very funny.
Waldorf: Ah, you can use it.
Berle: I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
Statler: How come they never reach your mouth?
Berle: Gentleman! Will you please take it easy? You think I'm doing this for fun?
Statler: Not so far!
Berle: Oh, I see. You think you could do better?
Statler: I couldn't do worse.
Berle: Allright.
Waldorf: We should.
Berle: Oh, yeah? You sing?
Statler: No.
Berle: You dance?
Statler: No.
Berle: Can you get laughs?
Statler: No
Berle: Then what would you do?
Waldorf: Just what your doing.
Berle: Okay, that's it! That's it! I'm going to call the police!
Statler: Good idea, you need all the protection you can get.
Statler: Hey, bro!
Berle: What?
Statler: Hey, Berle? You know what? I'm just figure out your style.
Berle: Really?
Statler: You work like Gregory Peck.
Berle: Gregory Peck is not a comedian.
Statler: Well?
Berle: Just a minute, please. I have been a successful comedian for half of my life.
Waldorf: How come we got this half?
Berle: Did you two come in here to be entertained or not?
Statler: That's right.
Berle: What's right?
Statler: We came in here to be entertained and we're not.
Berle: Oh, yeah? I'd love to see you come down here and be funny.
Waldorf: You first!
Berle: "Ha, ha, ha", the audience! "Ha, ha, ha"! Don't paying any attention to old folks. Let me tells the story.
Statler: Hey, bro!
Berle: Ohhh... Yeah, what is it? What is it?
Statler: You know what you're doing wrong?
Berle: What I'm doing wrong?
Statler: Standing too close to the audience.
Berle: Oh, yeah? How is this?
Statler: You're still too close.
Berle: Oh, sorry. Is this okay?
Statler: Now little more.
Berle: How far back do you want me to go?
Statler: You got a car?
Berle: Let me tell you something: If you don't stop, I'll have the usher throw you out!
Waldorf: He can't. He's too busy.
Berle: Doing what?
Waldorf: Keeping people in!
Berle: (to the audience) And you encourage him! Thath's what you're doing! (to Statler and Waldorf) You know, guys? I got good mind to punch you in your nose.
Waldorf: Please not while I'm holding it.
Berle: That's very funny.
Waldorf: Ah, you can use it.
Berle: I don't need your material, pal. I got a million funny lines in the back of my head.
Statler: How come they never reach your mouth?
Berle: Gentleman! Will you please take it easy? You think I'm doing this for fun?
Statler: Not so far!
Berle: Oh, I see. You think you could do better?
Statler: I couldn't do worse.
Berle: Allright.
Waldorf: We should.
Berle: Oh, yeah? You sing?
Statler: No.
Berle: You dance?
Statler: No.
Berle: Can you get laughs?
Statler: No
Berle: Then what would you do?
Waldorf: Just what your doing.
Berle: Okay, that's it! That's it! I'm going to call the police!
Statler: Good idea, you need all the protection you can get.
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/the-muppet-show/quote_8577.html
