[The interviewer and Vercotti are walking alongside a railroad track]
Interviewer: Mr. Vercotti, what do you say to people who accuse you of exploiting Ron for your own purposes?
Luigi Vercotti: Well, it's totally untrue, David. Ever since I left Sicily I've been trying to do the best for Ron. I know what Ron wants to do, I believe in him and l'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do.
Interviewer: And what's he going to do today?
Luigi Vercotti: He's going to split a railway carriage with his nose.
[A scream is heard off screen]
[The interviewer is seen standing with Vercotti beneath a ramp with a banner that says "Running to Mercury"]
Luigi Vercotti: The only difficult bit for Ron is getting out of the Earth's atmosphere, but once he's in orbit he'll be able to run straight to Mercury. [Wrapped from head to toe in bandages from his previous exploits, Ron hobbles onto the ramp, and as he goes off the edge of the ramp, the scene freeze-frames in mid-jump and another scream is heard.]

[to a man whose wife has been eaten alive by a blancmange]
Detective Inspector: I think what's happened is terribly, terribly funny... er, tragic!

[A Hungarian man is reading a badly translated Hungarian-to-English phrase book]
Police Officer: What's going on here?
Hungarian: You have wonderful thighs.
Police Officer: What?
Hungarian: Drop your panties, Sir William! I cannot wait til' lunchtime!
Police Officer: Right! [arrests the Hungarian]
Hungarian: My nipples explode with delight!
Spam

[Joseph Montgolfier bursts out of his bath, wearing only a towel, to confront the fake Louis XIV]
Joseph Montgolfier: Just a moment! That man is not Louis XIV!
Jacques Montgolfier: Joseph, are you out of your mind?
Joseph Montgolfier: I've been looking it up in my bath. Louis XIV died in 1717 -- it's now 1783! Answer me that!
Louis XIV imposter: Did I say Louis XIV? I'm sorry, I meant Louis XV.
Joseph Montgolfier: He died in 1774!
Louis XIV imposter: [menacingly] All right, I'm Louis XVI! Listen to me, smart-ass, when you're the King of France, you've got better things to do than go around all day remembering your bloody number!