[First lines; Monk and Sharona are watching Gail's performance]
Sharona Fleming: What do you think so far?
Adrian Monk: There's no legroom. It's so crowded.
Sharona Fleming: It's supposed to be crowded. It's sold out. You know, this play is going to New York. Can you believe it? My sister in an off-Broadway show?
Adrian Monk: So where is she?
Sharona Fleming: She's in the next scene. She kills a guy.
Adrian Monk: I hope it's the guy who designed these seats. [Gail enters]
Sharona Fleming: There she is. [From behind another door on stage, another actor, Hal Duncan, swings the door shut]
Hal Duncan: [as Bert] Hey, cuz. You miss me? [He picks up an apple and tosses it from hand to hand] Hope you don't mind. I let myself in.
Gail Fleming: But you're supposed to be in jail!
Hal Duncan: It's funny that phrase, �supposed to be��. I'm "supposed to be" in jail, you're "supposed to be" waiting for me! [He makes air quotes with his fingers when saying "supposed to be"] A man can't count on �supposed to be�� the way he used to.
Gail Fleming: You know, my husband's upstairs! If he hears you he'll come down-
Hal Duncan: Your husband's downtown drowning himself in scotch and soda! I saw him leave about an hour ago.
[Hal fusses with Gail's blouse]
Gail Fleming: I've got some money in my purse! Why don't you just take it and go?
Hal Duncan: You think I want your pocket change?! You think that's why I came back?! [Hal overturns the table, spilling all of its contents on the stage. Gail screams and secretly pulls out a knife]
Hal Duncan: Who ordered the tossed salad? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I came back for what's mine.
Gail Fleming: You know, if you don't leave, I'll--
Hal Duncan: You'll what? Huh? You'll do nothin'! [takes a bite of the apple he is holding] Like I said, I'm here for what's mine! [Gail stabs Hal with the prop knife. Hal screams, and staggers across the stage, obviously having a seizure]
Gail Fleming: Hal, are you okay? [Hal falls on the floor and starts having convulsions] Hal? Hal?
Sharona Fleming: What do you think so far?
Adrian Monk: There's no legroom. It's so crowded.
Sharona Fleming: It's supposed to be crowded. It's sold out. You know, this play is going to New York. Can you believe it? My sister in an off-Broadway show?
Adrian Monk: So where is she?
Sharona Fleming: She's in the next scene. She kills a guy.
Adrian Monk: I hope it's the guy who designed these seats. [Gail enters]
Sharona Fleming: There she is. [From behind another door on stage, another actor, Hal Duncan, swings the door shut]
Hal Duncan: [as Bert] Hey, cuz. You miss me? [He picks up an apple and tosses it from hand to hand] Hope you don't mind. I let myself in.
Gail Fleming: But you're supposed to be in jail!
Hal Duncan: It's funny that phrase, �supposed to be��. I'm "supposed to be" in jail, you're "supposed to be" waiting for me! [He makes air quotes with his fingers when saying "supposed to be"] A man can't count on �supposed to be�� the way he used to.
Gail Fleming: You know, my husband's upstairs! If he hears you he'll come down-
Hal Duncan: Your husband's downtown drowning himself in scotch and soda! I saw him leave about an hour ago.
[Hal fusses with Gail's blouse]
Gail Fleming: I've got some money in my purse! Why don't you just take it and go?
Hal Duncan: You think I want your pocket change?! You think that's why I came back?! [Hal overturns the table, spilling all of its contents on the stage. Gail screams and secretly pulls out a knife]
Hal Duncan: Who ordered the tossed salad? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I came back for what's mine.
Gail Fleming: You know, if you don't leave, I'll--
Hal Duncan: You'll what? Huh? You'll do nothin'! [takes a bite of the apple he is holding] Like I said, I'm here for what's mine! [Gail stabs Hal with the prop knife. Hal screams, and staggers across the stage, obviously having a seizure]
Gail Fleming: Hal, are you okay? [Hal falls on the floor and starts having convulsions] Hal? Hal?
[First lines; Monk and Sharona are watching Gail's performance]
Sharona Fleming: What do you think so far?
Adrian Monk: There's no legroom. It's so crowded.
Sharona Fleming: It's supposed to be crowded. It's sold out. You know, this play is going to New York. Can you believe it? My sister in an off-Broadway show?
Adrian Monk: So where is she?
Sharona Fleming: She's in the next scene. She kills a guy.
Adrian Monk: I hope it's the guy who designed these seats. [Gail enters]
Sharona Fleming: There she is. [From behind another door on stage, another actor, Hal Duncan, swings the door shut]
Hal Duncan: [as Bert] Hey, cuz. You miss me? [He picks up an apple and tosses it from hand to hand] Hope you don't mind. I let myself in.
Gail Fleming: But you're supposed to be in jail!
Hal Duncan: It's funny that phrase, �supposed to be��. I'm "supposed to be" in jail, you're "supposed to be" waiting for me! [He makes air quotes with his fingers when saying "supposed to be"] A man can't count on �supposed to be�� the way he used to.
Gail Fleming: You know, my husband's upstairs! If he hears you he'll come down-
Hal Duncan: Your husband's downtown drowning himself in scotch and soda! I saw him leave about an hour ago.
[Hal fusses with Gail's blouse]
Gail Fleming: I've got some money in my purse! Why don't you just take it and go?
Hal Duncan: You think I want your pocket change?! You think that's why I came back?! [Hal overturns the table, spilling all of its contents on the stage. Gail screams and secretly pulls out a knife]
Hal Duncan: Who ordered the tossed salad? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I came back for what's mine.
Gail Fleming: You know, if you don't leave, I'll--
Hal Duncan: You'll what? Huh? You'll do nothin'! [takes a bite of the apple he is holding] Like I said, I'm here for what's mine! [Gail stabs Hal with the prop knife. Hal screams, and staggers across the stage, obviously having a seizure]
Gail Fleming: Hal, are you okay? [Hal falls on the floor and starts having convulsions] Hal? Hal?
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/monk/quote_29251.html
