Jay: [about a comedian] You're going to love him. Trust me, the guy's hilarious.
Gloria: OK, tell me one of his jokes.
Jay: Well, he doesn't do jokes.
Gloria: Does he have a mallet?
Jay: No.
Gloria: So then how does he get hit in the head?
Jay: He doesn't get hit in the head. He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way - come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
Gloria: Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
Jay: Oh, for God's sake.
[Cut to Jay and Gloria talking to the camera]
Jay: Gloria and I are from different generations, and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria: No I didn't.
Jay: It's a joke.
Gloria: I don't get it.
Jay: Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria: Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
Gloria: OK, tell me one of his jokes.
Jay: Well, he doesn't do jokes.
Gloria: Does he have a mallet?
Jay: No.
Gloria: So then how does he get hit in the head?
Jay: He doesn't get hit in the head. He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way - come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
Gloria: Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
Jay: Oh, for God's sake.
[Cut to Jay and Gloria talking to the camera]
Jay: Gloria and I are from different generations, and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria: No I didn't.
Jay: It's a joke.
Gloria: I don't get it.
Jay: Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria: Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
Jay : [about a comedian] You're going to love him. Trust me, the guy's hilarious.
Gloria : OK, tell me one of his jokes.
Jay : Well, he doesn't do jokes.
Gloria : Does he have a mallet?
Jay : No.
Gloria : So then how does he get hit in the head?
Jay : He doesn't get hit in the head. He makes observations. He tells the truth in a funny way - come on, he's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
Gloria : Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
Jay : Oh, for God's sake.
[Cut to Jay and Gloria talking to the camera]
Jay : Gloria and I are from different generations, and I won't lie, it isn't always easy. I mean, last week she thought Simon & Garfunkel were my lawyers.
Gloria : No I didn't.
Jay : It's a joke.
Gloria : I don't get it.
Jay : Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
Gloria : Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/modern-family/quote_8218.html
