Malcolm: I think is time to move to plan B: lying.
[Scene switches to the kitchen]
Lois: What book report?
Malcolm: I just remembered. I have a big book report due tomorrow, and I haven't even started reading it. [to the camera] Standard technique. You volunteer a small crime to distract them from looking for the big one.
Lois: So what's the report on?
Malcolm: [[A Tale of Two Cities].
Lois: Oh, how many words?
Malcolm: 750.
Lois: Was that on your assignment sheet?
Malcolm: No, it's an addendum.
Lois: When did you get that?
Malcolm: Thursday. I didn't bring it home. That's why I forgot to do the assignment. [to the camera] Oh, nice one.
Lois: Well, I suppose that if it's school work.
Malcolm: [to the camera] That's the mislead. Wait for the reverse.
Lois: A Tale of Two Cities. Who's that by?
Malcolm: Charles Dickens.
Lois: Oh, I thought it was Victor Hugo.
Malcolm: No, it's Dickens.
Lois: Is that the one with Jean Valjean?
Malcolm: That's Les Miserables.
Lois: No, no. Isn't A Tale of Two Cities the one with Jean Valjean, where he says: "It's a far, far, better thing I do..." right before he steals the loaf of bread?
Malcolm: No. Sidney Carton says that before they behead him.
Lois: I thought you hadn't read it.
Malcolm: What? No, I said I hadn't written it.
Lois: And when is it due?
Malcolm: Tomorrow, I told you.
Lois: On Les Miserables?
Malcolm: Yes. No. A Tale of Two Cities.
Lois: Which you haven't read yet.
Malcolm: Right.
Lois: But you just said you did.
Malcolm: No. I-I said I didn't... and then you said... it was Thursday, and... [shouting angrily] Look, I just don't want to go to this stupid funeral!
[Scene switches to the kitchen]
Lois: What book report?
Malcolm: I just remembered. I have a big book report due tomorrow, and I haven't even started reading it. [to the camera] Standard technique. You volunteer a small crime to distract them from looking for the big one.
Lois: So what's the report on?
Malcolm: [[A Tale of Two Cities].
Lois: Oh, how many words?
Malcolm: 750.
Lois: Was that on your assignment sheet?
Malcolm: No, it's an addendum.
Lois: When did you get that?
Malcolm: Thursday. I didn't bring it home. That's why I forgot to do the assignment. [to the camera] Oh, nice one.
Lois: Well, I suppose that if it's school work.
Malcolm: [to the camera] That's the mislead. Wait for the reverse.
Lois: A Tale of Two Cities. Who's that by?
Malcolm: Charles Dickens.
Lois: Oh, I thought it was Victor Hugo.
Malcolm: No, it's Dickens.
Lois: Is that the one with Jean Valjean?
Malcolm: That's Les Miserables.
Lois: No, no. Isn't A Tale of Two Cities the one with Jean Valjean, where he says: "It's a far, far, better thing I do..." right before he steals the loaf of bread?
Malcolm: No. Sidney Carton says that before they behead him.
Lois: I thought you hadn't read it.
Malcolm: What? No, I said I hadn't written it.
Lois: And when is it due?
Malcolm: Tomorrow, I told you.
Lois: On Les Miserables?
Malcolm: Yes. No. A Tale of Two Cities.
Lois: Which you haven't read yet.
Malcolm: Right.
Lois: But you just said you did.
Malcolm: No. I-I said I didn't... and then you said... it was Thursday, and... [shouting angrily] Look, I just don't want to go to this stupid funeral!
Malcolm : I think is time to move to plan B: lying.
[Scene switches to the kitchen]
Lois : What book report?
Malcolm : I just remembered. I have a big book report due tomorrow, and I haven't even started reading it. [to the camera] Standard technique. You volunteer a small crime to distract them from looking for the big one.
Lois : So what's the report on?
Malcolm : [[A Tale of Two Cities] .
Lois : Oh, how many words?
Malcolm : 750.
Lois : Was that on your assignment sheet?
Malcolm : No, it's an addendum.
Lois : When did you get that?
Malcolm : Thursday. I didn't bring it home. That's why I forgot to do the assignment. [to the camera] Oh, nice one.
Lois : Well, I suppose that if it's school work.
Malcolm : [to the camera] That's the mislead. Wait for the reverse.
Lois : A Tale of Two Cities . Who's that by?
Malcolm : Charles Dickens.
Lois : Oh, I thought it was Victor Hugo.
Malcolm : No, it's Dickens.
Lois : Is that the one with Jean Valjean?
Malcolm : That's Les Miserables .
Lois : No, no. Isn't A Tale of Two Cities the one with Jean Valjean, where he says: "It's a far, far, better thing I do..." right before he steals the loaf of bread?
Malcolm : No. Sidney Carton says that before they behead him.
Lois : I thought you hadn't read it.
Malcolm : What? No, I said I hadn't written it.
Lois : And when is it due?
Malcolm : Tomorrow, I told you.
Lois : On Les Miserables ?
Malcolm : Yes. No. A Tale of Two Cities .
Lois : Which you haven't read yet.
Malcolm : Right.
Lois : But you just said you did.
Malcolm : No. I-I said I didn't... and then you said... it was Thursday, and... [shouting angrily] Look, I just don't want to go to this stupid funeral!
http://www.tv-quotes.com/shows/malcolm-in-the-middle/quote_7531.html
