Malcolm: What do you mean he's only seven?!
Nurse: What's not to understand? He just turned seven. I guess you were too busy beating people to notice!
Malcolm: He CAN'T be seven. He's bigger than I am!
Nurse: He's in second grade! [cleaning up Kevin] Look at all this blood...
Malcolm: That's not blood, it's pizza sauce! Well that's blood, but...
[Caroline Miller enters the nurse's office]
Caroline: Oh my God... OH MY GOD! What happened?
Kevin: [bawling] I want my Teletubby!
Malcolm: A doll?! You can't play with dolls if you're seven... WHY ARE YOU SEVEN?!
Caroline: You beat up a seven-year-old?
Malcolm: I didn't know!
Caroline: Malcolm, I don't blame you. I put this squarely where it belongs... [close to tears] On me!
Malcolm: [to camera] Oh, man. This is the most horrible thing I've ever done! [to Kevin] Kevin, I'm sorry!
Nurse: I think you've done quite enough.
Kevin: This is the worst birthday ever!

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