Jersey Shore quotes
97 total quotesRonnie: Standing in one corner, 4 foot 9, 2 inches with the poof, 'Snooki' Polizzi... standing in the other corner at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump!
Snooki: [after knocking the marinating chicken onto the floor] My first thought was, I don't wanna clean this up. My second thought was, I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was, what the fuck am I gonna eat?
Snooki: [behind the counter] I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, 'cause I'm a fuckin' Smurf.
Snooki: Angelina got it in with Vinny 'cause she's a loosey-goose, and then she had sex with Jose the next day...WHORE...just sayin'.
Snooki: Do you know what gay guys do? They're not attracted to vagina, they're attracted to asshole.
Snooki: I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.
Snooki: It hurts my vagina.
Mike "The Situation": OK, come down.
Snooki: No no, I like it!
Mike "The Situation": OK, come down.
Snooki: No no, I like it!
Snooki: Jen, you're fuckin' retarded for agreeing with Angelina, and Angelina, shut the fuck up, cuz who are you?
Snooki: What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead with my style who's not a cheater 'cause I'm not gonna go on Match.com again.
Vinny: Jenni's tits definitely defy gravity. I think Albert Einstein should come back and rewrite his laws of physics and work it around Jenni's tits.
Vinny: My uncles want me to just come here and bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.
Vinny: My v-neck is so fresh that I skip t-shirt time, like it defied the rules of t-shirt time.