Jersey Shore quotes
97 total quotesMike "The Situation": You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.
Pauly D: [about J-Woww] She just doesn't want to feel like a trashbag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue.
Pauly D: I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle; it's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.
Pauly D: They're cool girls. They're smart and everything, but they want to hook up just as well, but I think it will take a couple of times seeing them to hook up. They're not, like, whores.
Pauly D: Through the scuffle, Snooks gets hit in the face again. Poor girl...she needs to take some karate classes or somethin'. She needs self defense. Somebody's got to teach her how to fight or duck.
Pauly D: When I go into the club I have a game plan, I don't wanna waste my time and take home a girl that just wants to hang out, I just wanna get to the business...so. You light it up and then you move on and at the end of the night, you see who you end up with.
Ronnie: [what he would do if he was J-Woww's boyfriend] I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum and say "chew on this."
Ronnie: I regret that I got caught. I don't regret that I hit the kid, because he had it coming.
Ronnie: Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would.
Ronnie: The Ron-Ron Juice is the shit that gets the night going, I mean whenever that shit comes out it's always a filthy night.
Ronnie: You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to shit.
Sammi: [about Snooki] This little shrimp thing is like bopping all around, on the circle and like doing her thing, doing backwards flips with her thong hanging out; her whole crotch is in the air.
Sammi: A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tanned skin, wears the hottest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.