Leach: Hey, do you know how to get to Lubbock?
Coach Taylor: You gotta take 61 up to 23.
Leach: Hey, Dillon East, right? You're the coach at Dillon East. You've lost your inner pirate. Uh, have you ever heard swing your sword? You're supposed to swing your sword like this, but you're swinging yours like this. You've got to find your inner pirate. A lot of times things just happen for a reason. We don't know why God wants it that way, but you can't make the best out of it until you get back your inner pirate. You might be the luckiest man alive and not even know it.

Matt: I gotta get up there in front of everybody and say good stuff about this man. And all I really want to say is 'Here lies Henry Saracen, his mother annoyed him, his wife couldn't stand him and he didn't want to be a dad so he took off to be in the army because that's the only way he could come up with to get out of here and ditch all your responsibilities and no one could call you out on it and that worked out great so you just decided to enlist four more times and that ended up getting you killed and now here you are. And all you left behind is a mother with dementia, a divorced wife and a son that delivers pizza. Thank you for coming 100 people I do not know.' You know what the worst part is? Even if I did get up and say all that I don't even know if I'm saying it to him because I don't know what's in that damn box. It's a closed casket-- might be someone else, someone funnier or a bunch of rocks.

Matt: Someone gave me this grieving handbook and it said: when you're dad dies you should most likely, probably go to a music festival in Austin.
Julie: You're such a liar.

Matt: What would you say is the most important tool for an artist to have?
Richard Sherman: What's with you and all the questions?
Matt: You just told me to talk!
Richard Sherman: The most important tool an artist can have is selfishness. It means you're going to spend your life trying to express some dark corner of your life...you'll express your love, thoughts on God and everything else. So you gotta push away everyone in the way and be selfish to get it out.

Mindy: I don't want you to miss the ultrasound!
Billy: Tim and I can go hunting any time.
Tim: No, we can't, that's why it's called hunting season!

Regina: I just wanted to say: thank you for making my son quarterback. Things like that don't happen to us. People like us don't get a lot of breaks. You should've seen his face when he told me. He looked like a kid again.
Coach Taylor: I didn't give it to him, he earned it.

Slammin Sammy Mead: Four days from Thanksgiving and five days from Armageddon. I'm talking blue vs. red, West vs. East, Panthers in the playoffs or Taylor's revenge.

Tami: [to Julie] I think it's good you're questioning your faith, I just want you to have faith...something that you can hold on to, when I can't hold on to you.

Tim: [helping Billy paint the nursery] Billy, if I threw up on this wall you wouldn't even know it because this color is puke.
Billy: It's mustard!

Tim: We can't go, we're here, we gotta pick something, and what's that saying? Doesn't the dress find you?
Becky: Can we please just go? This was a dumb idea.
Tim: I'm gonna tell you something, alright? And you can't tell it to anyone else. My mother never took me shopping for a pageant gown and because of that I never placed at Miss Texas. That's why I got into football. That's fact. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna start with the wheels and then we'll work our way up, by then, hopefully they'll have a new shipment of dresses in.

Tim: We gotta sell something.
Billy: What are we gonna sell? We got nothing except Kit Kat.
Tim: We're not selling Kit Kat, she's the face of Riggins' Riggs.
Billy: You're right, you're right. I love that cow.

Vince: I'm Vince.
Coach Taylor: I'm Coach Taylor...you play any football?
Vince: Yeah, all the time.
Coach Taylor: What do you play?
Vince: Madden.

Vince: Why do you care about what I do so much? Aren't I just another player who can throw the ball good and run fast? What happens if I break my ankle and I can't play no more? You gonna come around here then? I've lived here ten years. I've seen three of my best friends get killed walking home from school. This is my life. When I leave football practice, I'm the one looking over my should on my way home.
Coach Taylor: You get in trouble with the law again, you're going to juvie. And then who pays the bills and puts food on the table? This isn't just about football, this is a about life. I'm giving you everything I've got. You think about what I said.