Tami: Wanna fool around?
Coach Taylor: Do you?
Tami: Mm-yeah.
Coach Taylor: I don't sense a true commitment from that.

Tim: [After Jason bails Tim out of jail in Mexico] Sweet, Six. Took you long enough. Now those gals are probably gone.
Jason: Shut your mouth, Riggins! I should have left you in there all damn night. Sad sorry ass! I'm not supposed to be spending my money on your bail.
Tim: Yeah, it's my fault we find the only honest cop in Mexico.
Jason: Shut your ass, Riggins! You know this money's for my surgery. It's not for your damn bail.
Tim: What's your problem, Six?
Jason: You know what? I came down here for a reason, all right? I know you think it's stupid, but guess what--it's not. You go ahead and get loaded tonight and catch syphilis from whatever skanky jailbait, random hooker or whore you can find on the street, but I'm going back to the hotel! [wheels himself away]
Tim: Can you at least buy me a couple of tacos?

Tim: Hey, what are you doing?
Lyla: I'm, leaving, Tim.
Tim: What do you mean "You're leaving?"
Lyla:I'm just... I'm going.
Tim: Why?
Lyla:Because: You guys just think it is a big joke.
Tim: I don't think think it's a big joke, Lyla.
Lyla: Really? All you've done is going to whorehouses and karaoke bars.
Tim: Yeah, what else do you do in Mexico, Garrity?
Lyla: You're an idiot. You think this is easy for me? You call me down here to help, and Jason didn't even know I was coming, you have no plan whatsoever...
Tim: Actually yes, as the matter of fact, I do have a plan. Guess what? It's right here.
Lyla: Oh really, what's your plan, Tim?
Tim: Yeah.
Lyla: A BOOZE CRUISE? THIS is your plan?
Tim: Yeah, a booze cruise. All inclusive meal, snorkeling, dolphins. Yeah. A booze cruise. I thought it'll be good time to chat to him on the boat. What?
Lyla: You think that: Way to talk to have a conversation with someone who's about to make the biggest mistake is his life is by taking him on a booze cruise?
Tim: Yeah, kind of, sort of.
Lyla: [scoffs and shakes her head]
Tim: What?
Lyla:I don't even know what it'd begin to tell you how distorted your view of the world is.
Tim: I'm distorted, my view's distorted? Really?
Lyla: Yeah, really, Tim.
Tim: Alright, that's great. Oh, that's great. I'm not the one...
Lyla: Really?
Tim: Yeah, yeah. I may as screwed up as you're saying, and that's fine, go with that. But at least I'm by Jay's side. At least I'm going through WHATEVER it is we're gonna go through together. I'll take him back in a BOX to Texas if I have to, Lyla. You? The second you're suss, you're ready to get on the next plane to Texas. That kind of sucks, for Jay AND for me. You know what? You know I'm right. You just won't admit it. I sin daily and I'm a better Christian than you, Garrity.
Lyla: Fine, I'll go on your stupid 'booze cruise'. You'd better man up and have a conversation with him. This is an intervention, Tim, and I can't do it by myself.

Tyra: Okay you need to take a deep breath here and calm down. That's all I'm saying.
Landry: I can take all the deep breaths that I want but that's not going to matter when I'm in the electric chair.

[(Matt and Carlotta are making out on his bed when his grandmother walks in and Matt covers Carlotta with his sheets]
Grandma Saracen: Matthew. Did you eat my Snackwells? My Snackwells!
Matt: Grandma, it's probably late for you to be eating snacks.
Grandma Saracen: Well, I want you to ask Carlotta if she ate the Snackwells.
Matt: You want me to ask her now?
Grandma Saracen: Well, no. In the morning! Getting kinda tired of this.
[Matt uncovers Carlotta's head]
Matt: You stole my grandma's Snackwells. You probably ate 'em too. First you take the tapioca...
[Carlotta laughs]