Fawlty Towers quotes
51 total quotesTerry: Mr. Fawlty, take it easy.
Basil: Now listen here. I don't pay you to tell me to take it easy. I pay you to take it easy, I mean I pay you to tell you to take it easy.
Basil: Now listen here. I don't pay you to tell me to take it easy. I pay you to take it easy, I mean I pay you to tell you to take it easy.
Tibbs: Don't do anything we wouldn't do.
Basil: Just a little breathing, surely?
Basil: Just a little breathing, surely?
Virginia: There is something very peculiar about all this. I won't stand here while an old friend like Sybil--
Basil: Look, it's perfectly Sybil. Simple's not well. She lost her throat and her voice hurt. The doctor came and said it was a bit serious. Not a lot; a bit. He went away, she started to puff up, he's coming back later this afternoon, and it's best for her to be on her own. Now what is so peculiar about that?
Roger: Her driving round in the town.
Basil: Look, it's perfectly Sybil. Simple's not well. She lost her throat and her voice hurt. The doctor came and said it was a bit serious. Not a lot; a bit. He went away, she started to puff up, he's coming back later this afternoon, and it's best for her to be on her own. Now what is so peculiar about that?
Roger: Her driving round in the town.
[Basil has just tripped over Sybil's garden gnome behind the reception desk]
Basil: What is this!! What is this doing here?! What is going on here??
Polly: Your wife ordered it. Call O'Reilly.
Basil: That golfing puff-adder?! What does she want a stupid...
Polly: CALL O'REILLY!
Basil: WHAT!?!
Polly: Shall I call him?
Basil: No no I'll do it! I'll call him, you go and see if the roof's still on!
Basil: What is this!! What is this doing here?! What is going on here??
Polly: Your wife ordered it. Call O'Reilly.
Basil: That golfing puff-adder?! What does she want a stupid...
Polly: CALL O'REILLY!
Basil: WHAT!?!
Polly: Shall I call him?
Basil: No no I'll do it! I'll call him, you go and see if the roof's still on!
[Classical music is playing in the background. Basil is putting up a picture. Sybil walks in.]
Sybil: Don't forget the menu.
Basil: I beg your pardon?
Sybil: Don't forget the menu.
Basil: I thought you said you want-- Right! I'll do the menu!
[puts down the picture, walks over to a typewriter and sits down.]
Sybil: You could have had them both done by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there listening to that racket.
Basil: Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!
Sybil: Don't forget the menu.
Basil: I beg your pardon?
Sybil: Don't forget the menu.
Basil: I thought you said you want-- Right! I'll do the menu!
[puts down the picture, walks over to a typewriter and sits down.]
Sybil: You could have had them both done by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there listening to that racket.
Basil: Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!
[After Sybil disappears, Basil is shocked when guests arrive.]
Basil: They're here! They're here! What do I say?... What am I going to say?
Polly: Oh... say she's... er... um...
Basil: She's "er, um" Oh, brilliant! Problem solved. She's "er, um."
Manuel: It is surprise party.
Basil: Yes?
Manuel: She no here.
Basil: Right?
Manuel: That is surprise!
Basil: They're here! They're here! What do I say?... What am I going to say?
Polly: Oh... say she's... er... um...
Basil: She's "er, um" Oh, brilliant! Problem solved. She's "er, um."
Manuel: It is surprise party.
Basil: Yes?
Manuel: She no here.
Basil: Right?
Manuel: That is surprise!