Jack McCall: Should we shake hands or something, relieve the atmosphere? I mean how stupid do you think I am?
Bill Hickok: I don't know, I just met you.

Seth Bullock: We got chamber pots to sell ya. And if you don't know what one of those is, the man livin' next to you will appreciate your findin' out.

Merrick: [To Charlie about Wild Bill Hickok] What a grand surprise. I never thought he'd live long enough for me to meet him.

Al Swearengen: Well, I guess when it starts pissin' rain in here, you know who to blame, huh? Now, I know word's circulatin' Indians killed a family on the Spearfish Road. Now it's not for me to tell anyone in this camp what to do, as much as I don't want more people gettin' their throats cut, scalps lifted or any other godless thing that these godless bloodthirsty heathens do. Or even if someone wants to ride out in darkest night. But I will tell you this. I'd use tonight to get myself organized. Ride out in the morning clear-headed. And startin' tomorrow morning, I will offer a personal $50 bounty for every decapitated head of as many of these godless heathen cocksuckers as anyone can bring in. Tomorrow. With no upper limit! That's all I say on that subject, 'cept next round's on the house. And God rest the souls of that poor family. And pussy's half price, next 15 minutes.

Al Swearengen: Let her go; she ain't taking any business with her. And don't forget to kill Tim.

Calamity Jane: Is it true? Indians killin' white people?
Dan: That's the sewer mouth that follows Hickok around.
Calamity Jane: Why are we standin' here?
Guy: Ridin' out tomorrow, daybreak.
Calamity Jane: Oh, really? Tomorrow. What's your fuckin' rush?! I'm goin' now. Even without Bill. Even without Charlie. I know the road to Spearfish. And I don't drink where I'm the only fuckin' one with balls!

Doc Cochran: I see as much misery outta them movin' to justify their selves as them that set out to do harm.

Al Swearengen: Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.

Al Swearengen: You don't want to interfere with me.
Calamity Jane: You think I'm scared of you?
Al Swearengen: Sure you are. And if I take a knife to you you'll be scared worse and a long time dying.

Bill Hickok: If irritating me is the jackpot, you got the job done.

Reverend Smith: Men like Mr. Seth Bullock there raise the camp up.
Johnny: Yeah, the fella to be put in that box might argue with you, Reverend.
Reverend Smith: Ah, Mr. Bullock did not draw first. And I, point to his commissioning me to build the departed a coffin and, and see to his Christian burial.

Jack McCall: [While playing poker] Well, that's one in a row for you, Wild Bill. Who's hungry? What in the hell damn time is it anyway?
Wild Bill: Sure you wanna quit playin', Jack? The game's all that's between you and gettin' called a cunt.
Tom Nuttall: Ah, meeting adjourned, fellas. Take it outside.
Wild Bill: That drooped eye of yours looks like the hood of a cunt to me, Jack. When you talk, your mouth looks like a cunt moving.
Jack McCall: I ain't gonna get in no gunfight with you, Hickock.
Wild Bill: But you will run your cunt mouth at me. And I will take it to play poker.

Al Swearengen: [during a meeting with Johnny Burns, E.B. Farnum, and Jimmy Irons] I wanna know who cut the cheese. [nobody answers] I'll tell you this for openers: we are gonna set off an area on the balcony. [opens the door to the balcony] And God help whoever doesn't use it, because the next stink I have to smell in this office, and whoever doesn't admit to it is going out the window, into the muck, onto their fucking heads, and we'll see how they like farting from that position, okay?

Al Swearengen: [discussing Custer at Little Bighorn] I'll tell you this, son, you can mark my words, Crazy Horse went into Little Bighorn, bought his people one good, long-term ass-fucking. You do not want to be a dirt-worshipping heathen from this fucking point forward. Pardon my French.
Joanie Stubbs: Oh, I speak French.

Brom Garret: If I'm stooped when next you see me, Alma, it won't be worry weighing me down, but bags of our recovered gold.
Alma Garret: If you wish to see more of the West let's leave now and see it, or else return back to New York. I don't think we should linger here.