Catherine: Taking your pet for a walk?
Grissom: I know how much you like my little fetal pig, so I'm giving him to you as an office-warming gift.
Catherine: That is so thoughtful. Now tell me why you really stopped by. You checking up on me?
Grissom: No.
Catherine: What've you heard? Who talked to you?
Grissom: See? You've only been on the job a week and you're already paranoid.
Catherine: [laughs] When I was your right hand and your left, I always knew if it hit the fan, you'd be the one to get dirty.
Grissom: Hey, that's the job.
Catherine: Yeah, that's the job. Did you ever play politics?
Grissom: I once ran for president of science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out by one vote.
Catherine: I'm going to guess that you didn't vote for yourself.
Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. It cost me, that's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Catherine: Your loss, my gain.
Grissom: Yeah, and at least I know that they're in good hands.

Catherine: Women in convertibles are low-hanging fruit.
Grissom: And it was a top-down night.

Chandra Moore: Warrick, right?
Warrick: Yeah.
Chandra Moore: I saw your presentation on longitudinal striations of the toenail in Dallas, A.A.F.S.? Really good work.
Warrick: Thank you. Thank you so much. And you are?
Chandra Moore: Oh, I'm Chandra. Chandra Moore. I'm the new DNA person.
Greg: Well, that's the plan anyway.

Daniel (to Grissom): I didn't realize until... today... how lucky I am. I know pretty much... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of.
Grissom: Was your sister afraid?
Daniel: Never. I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. As much pain as...I caused her... and she wouldn't give up, and she...she wouldn't let me, either. That's why...during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time.
Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh?
Daniel: They told me they... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore.
Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions...that's her blood in your veins. It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while you were killing her. If you cared so much for Alicia, why didn't you take your own life instead of hers?
Daniel: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God.
Grissom: But you believe that your god forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep you out of jail.
Daniel (crying): But my death will. See, I've got about six more months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. I-I do want to thank you, though.
Grissom: For what?
Daniel: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. You know, you may not believe in God, sir, but you do his work.

Detective Cavalier: Electrocution. That's a quick way to go.
Warrick: Not always.

Doc Robbins: Childhood keeps getting shorter and shorter... you know why that is?
Catherine (sobbing): I actually don't know!

Doc Robbins: I found ten cc's of urine in her stomach. Digestive system is intact and I found no bruises or abrasions in her mouth. So there's only one way it could've gotten there.
Catherine: Chug-a-lug.

Greg (after finding semen on the doorknob): Trophy condoms.
Sara: Trophy condoms?
Greg: When a stud scores, he hangs his condom on his neighbor's doorknob.

Greg (to Mia): So would you like to grab a bite later? I know a diner down the street that serves a mean liver and onions.
Mia: I don't eat out.
Greg: Never ever?
Mia: I don't like expectorant.
Greg: Really?
Mia: Kitchen staff talk while they prepare your food and then the wait staff repeats your order over the plate, and by the time you get your meal, there are several DNA samples coating it.
Greg: Wow.
Mia: Yeah. No, thank you. I don't eat birthday cake either.
Greg: Oh, blowing out the candles.
Mia: Ugh. Don't get me started.

Greg: Brass subpoenaed Eiger's home phone calls in the last year.
Ecklie: Yeah, anything interesting?
Greg: Numerous calls from Eiger's house to Sy Magli's office.
Ecklie: Well, they were known business rivals.
Greg: Between midnight and 4 a.m., what I like to call: "Love Hours".
Grissom: Wouldn't be the first time that hate mutated into passion.
Greg: Public enemies, private lovers. So Jackie Collins.

Greg: Grissom, I'd like to introduce you to Chandra Moore.
Chandra: Pleased to meet you sir, I'm a fan.
Grissom: Wow, you're hot.
Chandra: I'm... I'm sorry.
Grissom: You're eminating heat. This is a new infared camera. It's good for looking at evidence in the dark. (to Greg) Did you get her blood yet?
Chandra: My...why?
Grissom: So many reasons.
Catherine: (walking towards Grissom angry) Grissom? You can't possibly call that thing my office it's a cupboard.
Grissom: Catherine, I'd like you to meet Chandra Moore. She'll be doing DNA when Greg's in the field.
Catherine: Hello, I'm Catherine. (she turns right back to Grissom without giving Chandra a chance to introduce herself) We need to talk.
Grissom: Well, not now... too much work.

Greg: Hey Grissom, when you went to college did you live in the dorms?
Grissom: Surely, you jest.
Sara (laughs): You know they say a B.A. is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Grissom: Yeah, but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Grissom: I guess it depends on what you learn.

Greg: Just hedging my bets.
Warrick: How so?
Greg: Well, I need field experience, but before I get that, I need to find a replacement. So far, I'm oh-for-one. Plus, she's hot and thinks you're a tool, so I'm way ahead.

Greg: Mia Dickerson, Warrick Brown.
Warrick: Welcome.
Mia: Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA?

Greg: Nick! This is Chandra.
Chandra Moore: Chandra Moore.
Nick: Oh, yeah. Yeah, the new DNA girl. Right?
Chandra Moore: B.S. in bio-chem. M.S. in molecular biology. Five years of service in DNA at the CCL.
Nick: O-kay, well, I'm going to go use the no-pressure, no-AC, stinks-of-feet shower. So... welcome.