CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes
0 total quotesGrissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And the Lord arranged for a fish to swallow up Jonah. You know what the problem with the piranha, though? They have high cholesterol.
Catherine: Cholesterol is found in humans, not fish. So how does a fish acquire human cholesterol?
(They catch the couple having sex)
Catherine: Cholesterol is found in humans, not fish. So how does a fish acquire human cholesterol?
(They catch the couple having sex)
Grissom: The space heater overloaded the circuit causing a spark to ignite the kerosene.
Frank: Can you prove it? In court?
Frank: Can you prove it? In court?
Grissom: There are three kinds of people I hate. Men who hit their wives, sexual assault on children, and the scum who deal death to kids.
Grissom: Until we can explain why there was gasoline in the bedroom closet the charges stand.
Frank: Then I guess I'm a dead man.
Frank: Then I guess I'm a dead man.
Grissom: We're going off the board, tonight.
Sara: Off the board?
Catherine: The ones that got away. [Gestures to the fish shaped bulletin board] Fish.
Sara: Oh. I missed that one.
Sara: Off the board?
Catherine: The ones that got away. [Gestures to the fish shaped bulletin board] Fish.
Sara: Oh. I missed that one.
Grissom: Well, in this case we're going to recreate the flight from ... 1630 hours on. [points to Brass] You are in 4B.
Brass: Lou.
Catherine: Lou -- the angry businessman. How about that?
Brass: [Sarcastic] Ha ha.
Sara: I want to be Shannon.
Grissom: Good.
Warrick: The stewardess.
Sara: Excuse me, it's "Flight Attendant".
Grissom: Catherine, the doctor, 3E.
Catherine: Single mom. What an imagination you have.
Grissom: [points to Nick and Warrick] Max and Marlene, 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?
Nick: CSI-3 seniority, "sweetie".
Warrick: Yeah, whatever. You're henpecked anyway.
Sara: [To Grissom] Let me guess; you're the computer geek.
Grissom: In the interest of clarity, yes. Nate in 2C.
Brass: Lou.
Catherine: Lou -- the angry businessman. How about that?
Brass: [Sarcastic] Ha ha.
Sara: I want to be Shannon.
Grissom: Good.
Warrick: The stewardess.
Sara: Excuse me, it's "Flight Attendant".
Grissom: Catherine, the doctor, 3E.
Catherine: Single mom. What an imagination you have.
Grissom: [points to Nick and Warrick] Max and Marlene, 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?
Nick: CSI-3 seniority, "sweetie".
Warrick: Yeah, whatever. You're henpecked anyway.
Sara: [To Grissom] Let me guess; you're the computer geek.
Grissom: In the interest of clarity, yes. Nate in 2C.
Grissom: What are you so afraid of, Conrad? We're just a couple of science geeks. Why can't we work together?
Ecklie: No, we are public servants. We investigate cases as efficiently as we can and then we move on. We're not a clearinghouse for defendants on the eve of trial who don't like what we've turned up.
Grissom: Yes, we are.. if it's our mistake that put them there.
Ecklie: Fine. Spin your wheels.
Ecklie: No, we are public servants. We investigate cases as efficiently as we can and then we move on. We're not a clearinghouse for defendants on the eve of trial who don't like what we've turned up.
Grissom: Yes, we are.. if it's our mistake that put them there.
Ecklie: Fine. Spin your wheels.
Grissom: What did you find out about the psych exam on the little girl?
Sara: The shrink says the kid is in a catatonic state from a trauma. I could've told you that. But she did respond to the name "Buffalo."
Grissom: Respond how?
Sara: She freaked out. (Catherine stares at Sara and takes a deep breath)
Grissom: And... what are you doing about it now? (Sara nods as she looks at Grissom)
Sara: Going back to the girl. I left her in the car. (Grissom looks at her. Catherine can't believe what she's hearing) The windows are cracked... (Grissom stares at Sara, absolutely no expression on his face. Sara breaks out into a smile and stands up) Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital!(Warrick snickers at the fast one Sara just pulled on Grissom and Catherine. Nick also smiles. Grissom turns to look at Catherine. Catherine stares)
Sara: The shrink says the kid is in a catatonic state from a trauma. I could've told you that. But she did respond to the name "Buffalo."
Grissom: Respond how?
Sara: She freaked out. (Catherine stares at Sara and takes a deep breath)
Grissom: And... what are you doing about it now? (Sara nods as she looks at Grissom)
Sara: Going back to the girl. I left her in the car. (Grissom looks at her. Catherine can't believe what she's hearing) The windows are cracked... (Grissom stares at Sara, absolutely no expression on his face. Sara breaks out into a smile and stands up) Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital!(Warrick snickers at the fast one Sara just pulled on Grissom and Catherine. Nick also smiles. Grissom turns to look at Catherine. Catherine stares)
Grissom: Yes, yes, Norman pushed. Norman jumped. Norman fell.
Sara: Wouldn't you, if you were married to Mrs. Roper?
Grissom:I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle.
Sara: That's me. Still tossin' simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know.
Grissom: No thanks. I'm a scientist. I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple. I drop dummies.
Sara: You're old school.
Grissom: Exactly. And this guy was pushed.
Sara: How's the girl?
Grissom: She's still in surgery. She's not doing very well.
Sara: That's too bad.
Grissom: God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys.
Sara: There's only one why that matters now, why did Warrick Brown leave the scene?
Sara: Wouldn't you, if you were married to Mrs. Roper?
Grissom:I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle.
Sara: That's me. Still tossin' simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know.
Grissom: No thanks. I'm a scientist. I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple. I drop dummies.
Sara: You're old school.
Grissom: Exactly. And this guy was pushed.
Sara: How's the girl?
Grissom: She's still in surgery. She's not doing very well.
Sara: That's too bad.
Grissom: God, Sara, I have so many unanswered whys.
Sara: There's only one why that matters now, why did Warrick Brown leave the scene?
Grissom: You don't have a worry that technology is gonna make us obsolete?
Catherine: No.
Catherine: No.
Grissom: You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara: You want to sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams ... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Sara: You want to sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams ... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Grissom: You just compromised our investigation.
Catherine: He deserved to know the truth.
Grissom: Knowing how she died, yes. Knowing that she had an affair -- how does that bring closure?
Catherine: I guess you just have to be on the wrong end of an affair to understand.
Grissom: You can't make this about Eddie. Look, you hurt our case because your ex hurt you.
Catherine: We bring ourselves to our cases. We can't help it. I knew how Barger felt. Would you just relax? I didn't give him chapter and verse.
Grissom: You can't give him anything, Catherine. We're scientists. We're not psychiatrists or victims' rights advocates.
Catherine: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo watching discovery on the big screen working genius- level crossword puzzles, but no relationships. No chance any will slop over into a case. Right. I want to be just like you.
Grissom: Technically, it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right. I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine: Grissom ... what personal stuff?
Catherine: He deserved to know the truth.
Grissom: Knowing how she died, yes. Knowing that she had an affair -- how does that bring closure?
Catherine: I guess you just have to be on the wrong end of an affair to understand.
Grissom: You can't make this about Eddie. Look, you hurt our case because your ex hurt you.
Catherine: We bring ourselves to our cases. We can't help it. I knew how Barger felt. Would you just relax? I didn't give him chapter and verse.
Grissom: You can't give him anything, Catherine. We're scientists. We're not psychiatrists or victims' rights advocates.
Catherine: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo watching discovery on the big screen working genius- level crossword puzzles, but no relationships. No chance any will slop over into a case. Right. I want to be just like you.
Grissom: Technically, it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right. I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine: Grissom ... what personal stuff?